Living with limerence now has hundreds of posts on all aspects of life as a limerent. The complete archive of all blog posts is available here, but for those in a hurry, here are the key articles that cover the most important ideas about limerence and how to manage it:
1. What is limerence?
An obvious starting point. What is it? Who invented/discovered it? What’s the best way of understanding it? And how good is the evidence base?
- What is limerence
- The definition of limerence
- Person addiction
- Why limerence is not just a crush
- Are you a limerent?
- The two tribes
- Limerence and anxious attachment
2. What’s happening in our heads?
I’m a neuroscientist, and so my understanding of limerence stems from interpreting the symptoms of limerence in terms of the neural systems that give rise to them.
- The neuroscience of limerence
- Limerence as an altered state of mind
- Why limerence feels so good
- Uncertainty
- Are you a different person during limerence?
- Wanting versus liking
- Supernormal stimuli
- Understanding the limerent high
- Is limerence a mental illness?
3. Coping with limerence
In the depths of person addiction, we have to deal with a depressingly wide range of challenging emotions. Here are some of the commonest problems.
- Dealing with conflicting desires
- The loneliness of limerence
- When things go sour
- Autopilot mode
- Jealousy
- Limerence and insecurity
- Living with unrequited limerence
- Social media and limerence
- Using limerence for mood regulation
- Closure is an illusion
- Dealing with the guilt of limerence
4. How to get rid of limerence
When limerence has become a problem in life, it is time to develop strategies to fight back and free yourself. Here are some of the best.
- How to get rid of limerence
- Living with uncertainty
- Deprogramming the limerent brain
- The benefits of no contact
- How long will my limerence last?
- The neuroscience of self-discipline
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5. Purposeful living
The ultimate solution to coping with limerence is to integrate it into your sense of self in a healthy way. It’s part of who you are, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it control you.
- The best cure for limerence
- The recovery mindset
- Planning your purposeful life
- Seeking healthy rewards
- Overcoming limerence for good
- Flow state, limerence recovery and purposeful living
- Purposeful living for single limerents
- Where to find purpose
- On not knowing what you want
6. Limerence and long-term relationships
Limerence is most often a problem when it arrives unexpectedly and disrupts an existing relationship. Similarly, if you are the partner of a limerent it can be very disorienting to have them apparently lose their mind over someone else.
- What to do if you are married but limerent for someone else
- Emotional affairs
- Infidelity and limerence
- The morality of limerence
- When does limerence become an emotional affair?
- Limerence and the sexless marriage
- On forgiveness
- Tolerance as a protective measure against limerence
7. Limerent objects
Self awareness is the major battle for recovery, but it also helps to understand what it is about Them that sends you so doolally.
- Unavailable LOs
- The allure of bad boys and girls
- Caring about LO
- Limerence for a co-worker
- LOs who won’t let go
- Narcissist LOs
- Indecisive LOs
- Good LOs
- Choosing well
- Gaslighting
Miscellany
As a last section, here are some of my favourite posts, picked for silliness, oddness, or random insights. Enjoy!