About

Welcome to living with limerence. If you are:

• Infatuated with someone you don’t want to be infatuated with
• Beginning to realise that “a crush” shouldn’t be this overwhelming
• Bombarded by intrusive thoughts and unable to concentrate on anything other than Them
• Distressed, because you love your partner but have become obsessed with someone else

Or… 

• Worried that your partner is infatuated with someone else 
• Finding it hard to get through to them how much harm they are causing
• Baffled by their apparent personality transplant (and rewriting of history)

Then this site can help. 

Its purpose is to help people understand what limerence is, how it affects us psychologically and emotionally, and to devise practical ways to master it and integrate into life in a more healthy way. But I often ramble on about other stuff too.  

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About “Dr L”

My motivations for starting this site were my own unexpected re-experience of limerence after a long period of contented life as a husband, and the discovery that few sources of practical information or support existed (even in today’s world) for coping with it. 

For many years I blogged pseudonymously as Dr L, but nowadays write openly as myself: Dr Tom Bellamy.

I’m a neuroscientist, writer and academic. I graduated with a PhD in Neuroscience from University College London in 2001, then worked as a research scientist at the Medical Research Council, and the Babraham Institute, Cambridge, before moving to the University of Nottingham in 2010.

Since then, I’ve run a research group investigating the nuts-and-bolts of how the brain works, and published dozens of papers on esoteric aspects of neurophysiology.

That background gave me a unique perspective on limerence, how to make sense of what’s going on in our traitor brains, and how to reprogram ourselves into leading more purposeful lives.

So, read on! I hope that whatever you find here can help if you are suffering, or educate if you are merely curious.