A common barrier to going no contact is anxiety about how other people will feel about your change in behaviour. Especially for people pleasers. Is it rude to cut contact with someone you used to …
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The recovery mindset
One of the most difficult aspects of beating unwanted limerence is the conflict between the intellectual decision to stop it, and the emotional thirst to keep it going. This is the addict's challenge: …
Resolving to recover
One of the philosophical pillars of this site is that limerence isn't in itself a problem; it becomes a problem when the circumstances of a particular limerence episode cause a transition into …
The key stages of limerence (infographic)
I've discovered Canva. It's fun. Here's an infographic that summarises the key stages of a limerence episode that progresses to person addiction, before the limerent fights back: …
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LOs who won’t let go
In the last post we analysed closure, and why it's an illusion. Seeking closure is one of the commonest excuses that limerents give for why they need to stay friends with their LOs. Their …
Closure is an illusion
Uncertainty is central to limerence. It fuels the rumination that drives it (do they like me too? What did that comment mean? How would they respond to my disclosure?), and creates the intermittent …