The previous post linked two common limerence dilemmas to an analysis of romantic love. First, what can you do when the romance dies with the limerence, and second, what can you do when a long-term …
Love and limerence (part one)
When Dorothy Tennov published her book, Love and Limerence, her goal was to systematically analyse romantic love and define the experience of being in love. She ended up articulating the pattern of …
Beating limerence in 2020
It's 2020. Happy New Year everyone! New year, new decade, new opportunities for personal growth. As this is the time of year for resolutions, I thought I'd start with a post about how to use …
Year in review
I've been enjoying some quality time with my family over the Christmas holiday, so no in depth post this week. Just a quick review of another year of blogging at LwL. It's been a good year. Visitor …
Case study: a pushy LO
It's been a while since we got specific about a personal limerence dilemma, so this week I thought it would be good to tackle another case study. Elle got in touch with me (via a temporary gmail …
If I only knew…
My last few posts have focussed on the issue of closure and how limerents can be bad at handling uncertainty. The principle cause of this difficulty is the deep, desperate ache to know whether or not …
People pleasing limerents
A common barrier to going no contact is anxiety about how other people will feel about your change in behaviour. Especially for people pleasers. Is it rude to cut contact with someone you used to …
The recovery mindset
One of the most difficult aspects of beating unwanted limerence is the conflict between the intellectual decision to stop it, and the emotional thirst to keep it going. This is the addict's challenge: …
Resolving to recover
One of the philosophical pillars of this site is that limerence isn't in itself a problem; it becomes a problem when the circumstances of a particular limerence episode cause a transition into …
The key stages of limerence (infographic)
I've discovered Canva. It's fun. Here's an infographic that summarises the key stages of a limerence episode that progresses to person addiction, before the limerent fights back: …
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LOs who won’t let go
In the last post we analysed closure, and why it's an illusion. Seeking closure is one of the commonest excuses that limerents give for why they need to stay friends with their LOs. Their …
Closure is an illusion
Uncertainty is central to limerence. It fuels the rumination that drives it (do they like me too? What did that comment mean? How would they respond to my disclosure?), and creates the intermittent …