Sometimes life throws awful trials at you.
One such trial is the threat of infidelity in a long-term relationship.
I occasionally get emails from people who have noticed a change in their partner’s personality or behaviour, and their attitude towards their relationship.
Understandably, this is very distressing.
Often, my correspondent has started trying to research explanations for what’s going on, and come across descriptions of limerence. That’s when they contact me.
Commonly, they are hoping for clarification as to whether the behavioural changes they have spotted are evidence that their partner is experiencing limerence.
Unfortunately, this isn’t as simple a question to answer as it might first appear.
The symptoms of limerence are, by their nature, internal. They’re happening inside the limerent’s head, and if that person is trying to conceal what’s going on from their long-term partner (either through embarrassment or dishonesty) the signs can be confusing.
To help with this problem, I’ve created a quiz. The goal is to help partners who are trying to figure out whether limerence is contributing to the problems in their relationship get a more informed answer.
It’s 20 questions long, and is designed to distinguish limerence-specific signs from other general signs of dubious behaviour (such as hiding phones, being secretive, lying, and disappearing off without explanation).
So, for any readers who do, unfortunately, find themselves in this situation, check it out here:
This is the first draft, so any feedback on points of confusion are also much appreciated.
Link to take the quiz:
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