Alice is in a spot of bother. She has been married for nearly ten years, and met her husband after a previous relationship ended. It was kind of a "soft ending" in some respects: We didn't dislike …
Seeking healthy rewards
A central premise of the "limerence as person addiction" concept is that limerence becomes addictive because of the dopamine high. Being with LO is rewarding. Thinking about LO is rewarding. You get a …
Freedom from limerence
A recent comment by long-time friend of the blog, Sharnhorst, has got me thinking. The thrust of his idea is that studying limerence, understanding limerence, and trading anecdotes and wisdom with …
Announcement: Launch of the Emergency Deprogramming Course
May 19th Edit: Paypal payments now enabled. I've mentioned a few times recently that I've been working on a new course to help limerents who find themselves deep in the person-addiction pit and …
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The purposeful living reading list
Reader Samantha got in touch with me a while ago to ask for more information about living a more purposeful life. Specifically, she asked about the books that I would recommend about purposeful living …
When things have got physical
Regular readers have probably spotted by now that I'm anti-infidelity. I cynically take these contrarian positions just to shock The problem with infidelity is the betrayal, of course, and not …
Tipping points in a limerence affair
Here at LwL we're all about the personal responsibility and purposeful living. A guiding principle for managing limerence is that it's happening in your head and so that's where the work needs to be …
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Case study: invited to LO’s wedding
Reader Jane faces a dilemma. Her LO has invited her to his wedding. He's also being weird about it. Before Bride arrived on the scene, Jane disclosed her feelings to LO, hoping that their …
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Men and women
Bit of a diversion from the usual programming today, and the sort of post that requires me to have a "random thoughts" category in the blog menu. And to manage expectations: they're going to get …
The loneliness of No Contact
I've talked before about the loneliness of limerence. The isolation associated with limerence comes in large part from feeling that it shouldn't be happening, and that it's a shameful secret that the …
How long does limerence last?
A question I very commonly receive by email (from both limerents, and the affected spouses of limerents) is: "how long is this going to last?" I wish I could give an answer. The reality, of course, …
Barriers and uncertainty
Following on from last week's post, I've been wondering about the circumstances and conditions that can push limerence into a descending spiral of addictive misery. It certainly seems to be true that …