Like many people in the current era, my life is very busy. One of the reasons is that I am much better at taking on new jobs than finishing old ones. The jobs I’m currently juggling have a wide range of skillsets and I sometimes have the old adage “Jack of all trades, master of none,” in the back of my mind as I struggle to keep all the balls in the air. Perhaps, I think, I should drop some of the things that I haven’t yet mastered and focus on sharpening my existing skills.
I recently came across the interesting claim that the full version of this quote was originally:
Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one.
As a society we’ve quite tellingly truncated it to promote specialisation, when we need both experts and generalists if we’re going to make sense of the world. A blinkered specialist can be worse than a generalist for making progress, as they become hidebound and limited in their perspective.
Here’s a TED talk that argues the case (and where I found that full quote):
I enjoyed the video, but a bit of research has failed to throw up any convincing evidence that the “full” version really was the original quote. Another feature of the modern era is that direct, provocative claims can turn out to be based on pretty shaky premises.
Nevertheless, instead of procrastinating by tracing the pedigree of old quotes, I should be focusing on some of the current projects on my desk. While I’m sure there is a point to be made about how good decision-making in project selection relates to purposeful living and self-discipline, I’m actually only bringing all this up because some of the projects are directly relevant to Living with Limerence and so will affect the community here.
Here’s what’s coming up…
1. A book
A couple of years ago I wrote and published Living with Limerence, the book. It’s a concise, self-published summary of the key lessons I’d learned about limerence since starting the blog, and a guide for those struggling with unwanted infatuation. The condensed wisdom of the LwL philosophy in an orderly format.
I’m now really happy to announce that I’ve got a deal to publish a new book through a traditional publisher, and my ambition is to make it the definitive trade book on limerence.
Tennov’s book was published in 1979 (and reissued in 1999, with a new preface). We’ve learned a lot in the 44 years since, and I’m excited to be able to write a new guide that puts limerence in the context of modern neuroscience.
The writing is already underway, but of course has to be added to all my other responsibilities. Even so, I’m having fun so far, which is a good sign!
2. Website redesign
I’ve been trailing this for a while, but the LwL website needs an update. Updating a highly active website has turned out to be non-trivial š
I’m working on this in the background, and have got something approaching a plan in place, but I’m not sure when the new site is going to go live, or quite what form it will be in.
Stay tuned I guess.
3. Original research
As part of the book project I want to answer some of the big unanswered questions about limerence. To do that effectively will take original research, so I’m also investigating the best way to manage that.
One obvious, incomparable resource is the community at LwL. There may be some surveys heading your way in the future…
Sometimes a purposeful life can lead you into possibly, conceivably, taking on more than can be easily managed.
I’ve not posted this as a complaint, or appeal for help, or a humblebrag, but I am mindful of the fact that I’m not commenting as often as I used to, not answering emails as reliably as I’d like, and sometimes struggling to get everything done on schedule.
What I am saying is that there may be a few bumps ahead in terms of blogging frequency and website maintenance, and I hope you’ll understand why.
I somewhat suspect that “time management and purposeful living” may become something of a theme in the coming weeks and months.
Hi Dr. L,
Focus in your journey, Iām sure it will be an inspiration to others. Itās good to look forward to the future with a lot of enthusiasm, you got this! Donāt you stop, keep going!
Best wishes
A new Dr. L book! Most exciting. I look forward to the insights and even moreā¦ your humour! Youāre the one that makes us laugh at limerence as we work through it.
Perfect! This book is going to be great.
I second Jaideux, your self-deprecating humor and never condescending or simplifying approach make some of the hard facts about oneself easier to swallowā¦
Donāt worry about posting or commenting, we already have so many wise posts to fall back on!
And, when you go mainstream, I’ll get to say that I was posting on your site when you were was an Internet nobody! š
Maybe more an internet somebody that only a select few special sensitive individuals know about. We will have to prepare ourselves to share Dr L for the mainstream and to go stratospheric !!!
Thank you Dr.L, for all that you do. This website is like a boon twice over for myself. Even though I fail miserably at not being limerent.
Looking forward to the book and changes within the forum here.
Just wanted to add that I really appreciated a compact and concise first book šš¼. Just what I needed at that moment!
After reading it, together with Tenovās and some quotes of other limerents that I found spot-on, list with useful links, I have now made āan emergency packageā. Just in case I get limerent again. Or my son does. (It might be helpful to hand him all the wisdom at one place).
THAT big was the impact of limerence on me, that I find such a āpackageā an absolute must (18 months after NC and still recovering. I am slowly getting my old life back, but still not completely there).
So I guess your new book will become a welcome addition to that package.
Good writing!
Best wishes for the new book, Dr. L. š
DrL: Hope the new book would put the term ālimerenceā on the accredited map of mental health, and on majority peopleās psychological radar.
I got your cute book, not for myself, but for LO, just in case I decide to disclose my LE to him. I wish him to truly grasp what has happened to me and why from the neuroscience perspective, instead of assuming I was a lovesick lunatic, purely lacked sounding reasons and willpower to control my uncontrollable limerence.
Of course, if LO is non-limerent type or covert arrogant, heād still be confused or just laughed it off as nonsense (ā intuitively I donāt think it will be the case); But at least, Iāll have tried.
“DrL: Hope the new book would put the term ālimerenceā on the accredited map of mental health, and on majority peopleās psychological radar.”
Very much agree. And perhaps Dr.L’s book can help with that. It’s hard to work on something when you and the people around you think it’s just a crush or infatuation but you, in your head, know that it is so much more than that but have no answers to your own questions.
Finding out about limerence after the fact meant that mine got out of hand because I didn’t know how to counter, and instead embraced it. Had I had answers maybe it wouldn’t have gotten out of hand. Here’s hoping it will more people as early as possible.
I have in mind a few people in my circle who could probably benefit from this book also.
The entire LE I experience on a daily level, seems to befuddle every one person I have disclosed it to and in many cases, they believe it should be as easy to shut down, like turning off a light switch.
Oh if it was only that easy, I would’ve cut off the main power supply months ago..
āBusy, busy, busy, is what we Bokononists whisper whenever we think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.ā
ā Kurt Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle
I love Kurt Vonnegut!
Me too!