It's been a while since we considered a case study, and this one is a little mysterious. Lotus got in touch with me about her situation, but using an apparently fake or dead email address. That has …
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Does limerence cause affairs?
I receive a lot of emails from limerents and partners of limerents who are embroiled in the emotional wreckage of an affair. A common lament is that the personality of the cheater seems to have …
Why can’t I stop thinking about my crush?
Everyone goes a bit gaga about their crush. Thinking about them is pleasurable, after all, and what harm could come from fantasising about the blissful times you might enjoy together? What's wrong …
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Who we are Our website address is: https://livingwithlimerence.com. What personal data we collect and why we collect it Comments When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the …
Why can’t I get over my crush?
Sometimes a crush can become so powerful that it dominates your life. If you just can't get them out of your head, can't free yourself from their magnetic attraction, and just aren't able to move on, …
Why limerence is not just a crush
From time to time I get invited to contribute to a podcast or article about obsessive love, and one of the questions about limerence that is pretty much guaranteed to come up is: Isn't that …
Relationship OCD
Limerence has been described as a cross between OCD and addiction. This is a useful simplification in many ways, because limerence is characterised by obsessive, intrusive thoughts, and we can get so …
A limerence quiz
April 2022 update: The quiz developed in this post has now been set up as a complete limerence survey: available here I occasionally receive emails from people who are going through a …
The death of hope
We talk a lot here at LwL about the gulf between intellectual acceptance that a limerent episode should end, and the emotional willingness to walk away. Many limerents come to the point of surveying …
Obligation
A good discussion broke out in the comments a few weeks ago about obligation. Scharnhorst argued that obligation is one of the most powerful forces that directs our behaviour - more so than fear, …
Jekyll and Hyde
The strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is one of those rare stories that has such psychological potency that it becomes a shorthand for a fundamental human experience, and lasts in the public …
The neuroscience of limerence
Limerence is an altered mental state. That means its origin lies in our brains, and in the neurochemistry that regulates our perceptions and emotions. Although direct research on limerence is very …