A defining feature of limerence is emotional instability - someone else seems to have control over your mood. When they are happy, you are euphoric; when they are unhappy, you are anxious and …
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Mutual limerence
Mutual limerence is a topic that often pops up in the comments section, and in my email inbox. Some describe it as a unicorn scenario, others describe it as a curse. Many of the people who contact me …
Case study: relentless limerence
Today's case study comes from Rachel, who is happily married, but suffering from unrelenting limerence. The quick summary of her situation is that she had a hunch that a colleague of her husband was …
This crush just won’t be crushed!
Over at the New York Times, Roxane Gay writes an advice column about work and life called "Work Friend". The title of a recent edition caught my eye: The thrill of the office crush. The scenario is …
Limerence research survey
Following on from a previous research project, I was recently contacted by a team from the University of Sussex in the UK who are running a new project, in collaboration with the team from Sheffield. …
Case study: I don’t want to devalue my limerent object
Rachel got in touch recently about a scenario that is very difficult to cope with - not difficult because of any grand drama, or threats to life and limb, but because there is no simple escape from …
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On grief
My father died last week. I'm now immersed in a new world that I was previously unaware of - or rather, a world that always existed alongside me but that I could blissfully ignore. Funeral …
Coffeehouse: escaping the shadow of first limerence
It's been a while since we last checked in at the LwL coffeehouse. Home of sense-making, wise words and occasional balderdash Today's topic of conversation was proposed by Fabian: could you …
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Case study: why is limerence so painful?
Prolonged limerence is painful. Today's case study is from Lara, who is well versed with the principles of recovery we espouse here at LwL, but is nonetheless struggling with this part of the …
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Community, coaching and purposeful living
A Happy New Year to all at LwL! It seems to have become something of a fashion this year to bolster the usual wishes for happiness with the hope that 2023 will be less eventful than the recent …
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How to get over someone who doesn’t want you
In the beginning, an obsessive infatuation can feel amazing. Not only do you get the natural giddy high of euphoria, but the romantic surrender of being completely besotted also has fairy-tale appeal. …
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What causes a crush to develop?
Ah, the bittersweet agony of a crush. That awful mix of exhilaration and anxiety, boldness and insecurity, hope and fear, giddiness and embarrassment. For some, a crush is a stimulating and …