At first limerence is amazing. And then it isn't. This transition - from exhilarating to exhausting - mirrors the transition from initial high to desperate dependency for drugs of abuse, which is …
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Overcoming limerence for good
If this blog has a theme it's that mastery over limerence comes from living with purpose. That's the only way I know of to make the lasting changes needed to rob limerence of its power to derail your …
The seduction of limerent reverie
It's fair to say that limerents think about their limerent objects quite often. Say, every moment of every day. OK, maybe every other moment. The point is: they invade your mind. The nature of this …
Kicking the limerence habit
Reader Vincent suggests "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg as a useful perspective on limerence. It's a great book. I really enjoyed it, and there are some fascinating insights. One of the …
Living with uncertainty
Uncertainty is a central feature of limerence. It acts as a fuel for deepening the obsession (constantly ruminating on what every word, gesture and meaningful look might mean), and seems to be …
What can spouses do?
When your spouse or partner becomes limerent for someone else, it stinks. Quite reasonably, many people experiencing this relationship-testing stress wonder desperately what they can do to …
When LOs return, part two
In a previous post I wrote about the fact that my LO was re-entering my life and that we were working together on a short project. It's done. So, was it worth the effort? What did I learn? …
When LOs return
My LO is coming back. For professional reasons, we are going to be working on a project together for a few weeks. I thought about declining the job. I also thought about the implications of making …
When to disclose
In a previous post, I described disclosure as the nuclear option for getting rid of limerence. While obviously jokey, it is true that disclosure has the potential to really blow up your life in a big …
Limerence dreams
A defining feature of limerence is persistent, intrusive thoughts about LO. And it doesn't even let up when you are asleep. Frequent dreams about LO are very common, and can be quite informative. Now, …
Case study: Is my current relationship bound to be unfulfilling because it is non-limerent?
A change of pace today, stimulated by a question sent in by SK. I'll start with the disclaimer that I have no qualifications as a psychologist, psychiatrist or other professional analyst. However, I …
One year on
So, I've been posting away in this blog now for a year, and it has been a lot of fun and pretty cathartic. Looking back at the list of posts, I appear to have typed quite a lot. Looking to the …