One of the defining features of limerence - and the feature that makes it so difficult for others to understand - is the wildly exaggerated importance that we assign to our limerent objects. Why do we …
How does limerence begin?
For some people limerence hits like a bolt of lightning; for others, it’s a slow burn. But what starts the whole thing going? What conditions make us vulnerable? There are three key factors that seem …
Case study: Is my current relationship bound to be unfulfilling because it is non-limerent?
A change of pace today, stimulated by a question sent in by SK. I'll start with the disclaimer that I have no qualifications as a psychologist, psychiatrist or other professional analyst. However, I …
Flirting at work
I've talked before about flirting and how it's complicated for limerents. It's been on my mind again. There's a real sense of a sea-change in culture at the moment, with #MeToo and Oxfam and …
The Glimmer givers
What makes someone a potential limerent object? What special something tickles the arousal circuitry in just the right way to trigger escalating limerence? It may be a fool's errand to try and …
The Glimmer
In the last post, I argued that there is an initiating "glimmer": a frisson of excitement, that acts as an indicator that a particular person you have just encountered has the potential to become an …