I've recently had a little flurry of correspondence from limerents who are cursed with indecisive limerent objects. These are LOs who give some definite reciprocation but then pull away, or who are …
Dealing with conflicting desires
Life is full of conflicting desires. We love cakes, but want to be lean and healthy. We like excitement and we also like security. We crave novelty, and seek the nostalgia of the familiar. We …
Why am I so down on limerence?
A recent flurry of comments raised the issue of whether limerence is a good or bad thing, and why I generally blog from the perspective of "limerence recovery", rather than being more positive and …
Why wasn’t I good enough for them?
Limerent objects are sticky. Yuck! When deciding to go No Contact, most limerents soon discover that detaching themselves from LO is harder than expected. LOs are good at pulling you back. You …
A good summary of the purposeful mindset
I'm getting to be quite a fan of Mel Robbins. I signed up for her "best decade ever" course this year and it's great so far. While I'd (rather inevitably) nitpick the details of her pop neuroscience …
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Love and limerence (part two)
The previous post linked two common limerence dilemmas to an analysis of romantic love. First, what can you do when the romance dies with the limerence, and second, what can you do when a long-term …
Love and limerence (part one)
When Dorothy Tennov published her book, Love and Limerence, her goal was to systematically analyse romantic love and define the experience of being in love. She ended up articulating the pattern of …
Beating limerence in 2020
It's 2020. Happy New Year everyone! New year, new decade, new opportunities for personal growth. As this is the time of year for resolutions, I thought I'd start with a post about how to use …
Year in review
I've been enjoying some quality time with my family over the Christmas holiday, so no in depth post this week. Just a quick review of another year of blogging at LwL. It's been a good year. Visitor …
Case study: a pushy LO
It's been a while since we got specific about a personal limerence dilemma, so this week I thought it would be good to tackle another case study. Elle got in touch with me (via a temporary gmail …
If I only knew…
My last few posts have focussed on the issue of closure and how limerents can be bad at handling uncertainty. The principle cause of this difficulty is the deep, desperate ache to know whether or not …
People pleasing limerents
A common barrier to going no contact is anxiety about how other people will feel about your change in behaviour. Especially for people pleasers. Is it rude to cut contact with someone you used to …