My last few posts have focussed on the issue of closure and how limerents can be bad at handling uncertainty. The principle cause of this difficulty is the deep, desperate ache to know whether or not …
People pleasing limerents
A common barrier to going no contact is anxiety about how other people will feel about your change in behaviour. Especially for people pleasers. Is it rude to cut contact with someone you used to …
The recovery mindset
One of the most difficult aspects of beating unwanted limerence is the conflict between the intellectual decision to stop it, and the emotional thirst to keep it going. This is the addict's challenge: …
Resolving to recover
One of the philosophical pillars of this site is that limerence isn't in itself a problem; it becomes a problem when the circumstances of a particular limerence episode cause a transition into …
The key stages of limerence (infographic)
I've discovered Canva. It's fun. Here's an infographic that summarises the key stages of a limerence episode that progresses to person addiction, before the limerent fights back: …
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LOs who won’t let go
In the last post we analysed closure, and why it's an illusion. Seeking closure is one of the commonest excuses that limerents give for why they need to stay friends with their LOs. Their …
Closure is an illusion
Uncertainty is central to limerence. It fuels the rumination that drives it (do they like me too? What did that comment mean? How would they respond to my disclosure?), and creates the intermittent …
Social media and limerence
There's been a lot of discussion in the comments of late about social media and how it just makes limerence sooo much worse. I've not contributed much to this, for the simple if unorthodox reason that …
Q&A on limerence affairs
A previous post riffed off a podcast by Joe Beam about limerence affairs, and the phases that they pass through. It seems to be a post that resonated with a lot of readers, and to judge from my inbox …
Using limerence for mood regulation
It's an unhappy truth that limerence is worst when you're unhappy. Limerence can often start during a time of of trial: when you are exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, lonely, grieving, or depressed. …
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Why limerence is a better explanation than Twin Flames
In the last post, I drew parallels between the concepts of Twin Flames and the concepts of limerence, and showed that there was a lot of overlap. However, a perfectly reasonable response to that …
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Can limerence explain Twin Flames?
Following on from a recent case study post, a discussion broke out in the comments about the overlap between limerence (as understood from a neuroscience perspective), and spiritual interpretations of …