I'm not a fan of this aphorism. It's true, in the sense that all human endeavours are sometimes hard work and that love is not some magical exception that just perfectly coasts along for years if you …
The seduction of Romance
I tend to assume that limerents must all be romantics. Life certainly makes it easy - the Disney model of the one true love overlaps nicely with the idealisation of LOs. Oh, they are so very special. …
Intersections
An interesting question that often comes up in discussions about limerence, is the potential for overlap with other personality traits. Perhaps, given the intrusive thoughts and obsessive nature of …
Relapse
Double meaning here - both the end to a work-induced blog hiatus, and another post on limerence as person addiction... Using the framework of "person addiction" as a way of understanding …
Limerence music
Super-busy with the day job at the moment, so behind on blogging. Whenever possible, I work with some background music. Often this needs to be classical (or at least lyric-free) but sometimes …
Rationalisation
A treacherous tendency of the limerent brain, of which we must all be wary, is rationalisation. This takes the form of self-justifications for why interactions with LO are necessary (when they …
Taking control
When limerent for someone unsuitable, you are faced with the challenge of using your judgement and wisdom to overcome the neurophysiological storm of addictive reward, and get away from the most …
Romantic love
Busy with work, but here's another good video by Helen Fisher. Her checklist for romantic love is a near perfect definition of limerence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoKbMPyBwF8 Bit …
Help! My partner is limerent for someone else
One of the hardest aspects of limerence to live with is developing limerence when in long-term relationship. If it's hard for the limerent, it's even worse for the significant other. If you are the …
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Article on long-term love
Following on from the post on libido, here's an interesting article in Psychology today about long term romantic love. It is possible to sustain the romantic/erotic connection for many years. It …
Limerence, libido, and the challenge of long term romance
In the last post I analysed the sometimes strange intersections between lust and limerence. One thing that both phenomena share is transience. For lust, it can be very short-lived. Limerence is more …
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Limerence and sex
From the time it was first defined, limerence has been closely associated with sexual desire. LO is wanted as a sexual partner, rather than an intimate friend or companion. [Aside - it would be …