One of the curious consequences of learning that non-limerents exist, is that for the first time we limerents can start to wonder both "who has it better", and "what is limerence for, anyway"? The …
Can’t we just be friends?
Is it possible to be friends with your LO? You do, after all, enjoy their company. And they really seem to understand you. And you care about their happiness. Surely those are all important aspects of …
False love
Limerence is sometimes described as false love. This argument is built on the premise that limerence is largely selfish (in the literal sense of being focussed on your own feelings and needs), is …
Is limerence all bad?
Although the title of this site is "living with limerence", and so could seem analogous to "living with diabetes" or "living with OCD", limerence really isn't all bad. Most limerents, if given the …
Uncertainty
Why does uncertainty have such power in cementing desire for a limerent object? It makes sense that rejection would (hopefully) kill limerent desire, but it seems a bit counterintuitive that …
Flirting
Flirting is commonplace. Some people proudly proclaim themselves shameless flirts. They flirt with everyone; nothing personal. Flirting is most often described as "harmless fun". Where seen as …
Do they like me too?
In an earlier post, I described the second stage of limerence as "the response". So, assuming you have felt the glimmer, the next thing your limerent brain tries to determine is the possibility of …
The Glimmer givers
What makes someone a potential limerent object? What special something tickles the arousal circuitry in just the right way to trigger escalating limerence? It may be a fool's errand to try and …
The Glimmer
In the last post, I argued that there is an initiating "glimmer": a frisson of excitement, that acts as an indicator that a particular person you have just encountered has the potential to become an …
My story
This is the biographical post. Feel free to skip, if looking for more universal themes. I suppose my first experience of limerence was a crushing crush on a girl at school (we were both 16/17 at …
The beginning
Thank you for visiting my blog. It seems fitting to start with introductions, and an explanation of what I'm hoping to achieve with this. My name is... not important. I'm going to keep this …