There are lots of obstacles along the road to recovery from limerence. Here at LwL we advocate for an internal focus for responding to unwanted limerence: it's happening in our heads, we can't control …
LOs who won’t let go
In the last post we analysed closure, and why it's an illusion. Seeking closure is one of the commonest excuses that limerents give for why they need to stay friends with their LOs. Their …
Closure is an illusion
Uncertainty is central to limerence. It fuels the rumination that drives it (do they like me too? What did that comment mean? How would they respond to my disclosure?), and creates the intermittent …
Limerence and insecurity
I spend a goodly amount of time here at LwL trying to understand the factors that make limerence more or less likely to occur. There are some repeating themes - intermittent reward, uncertainty, …
Common mistakes that limerents make
Limerence and good judgement are not close friends. To an outside observer, a limerent trying to navigate their interactions with an LO must look rather like a drunk trying to walk a straight line. …
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Seeking healthy rewards
A central premise of the "limerence as person addiction" concept is that limerence becomes addictive because of the dopamine high. Being with LO is rewarding. Thinking about LO is rewarding. You get a …