I spend a goodly amount of time here at LwL trying to understand the factors that make limerence more or less likely to occur. There are some repeating themes - intermittent reward, uncertainty, …
Common mistakes that limerents make
Limerence and good judgement are not close friends. To an outside observer, a limerent trying to navigate their interactions with an LO must look rather like a drunk trying to walk a straight line. …
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Seeking healthy rewards
A central premise of the "limerence as person addiction" concept is that limerence becomes addictive because of the dopamine high. Being with LO is rewarding. Thinking about LO is rewarding. You get a …
The loneliness of No Contact
I've talked before about the loneliness of limerence. The isolation associated with limerence comes in large part from feeling that it shouldn't be happening, and that it's a shameful secret that the …
When does limerence become an emotional affair?
In a recent conversation I was asked: How is limerence different from an emotional affair? The person asking was a non-limerent. My first reaction was befuddlement. I mean, obviously limerence …
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What to do if you are married but limerent for someone else
Following on from musings about midlife, one of the commonest problems that more mature limerents face is falling for a new LO when committed to someone else. This is hard enough to deal with in a …
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