Limerence is an extraordinary desire. The intensity of our longing for LO falls well beyond the usual range of everyday experience, which is probably why we find it so easy to believe that our LOs …
More on the styles of love
Following on from previous posts about the different types and styles of love, here's a video interview with Helen Fisher that is quite …
Love in the time of corona
OK, maybe the title should be "limerence in the time of covid-19", but I couldn't resist the literary allusion. The current pandemic is making us all face how our lives can suddenly be thrown into …
Why do they seem so special?
Idealisation is a big part of limerence. It’s also a big part of the ‘object’ bit of limerent object. We elevate these mysterious people who walk among us into paragons - impossible romantic ideals. …
Living with Limerence, The Book
February saw the third anniversary of the blog, and anniversaries are always a good time to pause and take stock. [Stares thoughtfully into middle distance] I started this site as way to expend …
The psychological appeal of giving in
There is something strangely seductive about surrendering your will to a craving. Even when you know it's bad for you, you yield to the compulsion. When the opportunity to indulge presents itself, you …
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Indecisive LOs
I've recently had a little flurry of correspondence from limerents who are cursed with indecisive limerent objects. These are LOs who give some definite reciprocation but then pull away, or who are …
Dealing with conflicting desires
Life is full of conflicting desires. We love cakes, but want to be lean and healthy. We like excitement and we also like security. We crave novelty, and seek the nostalgia of the familiar. We …
Why am I so down on limerence?
A recent flurry of comments raised the issue of whether limerence is a good or bad thing, and why I generally blog from the perspective of "limerence recovery", rather than being more positive and …
Why wasn’t I good enough for them?
Limerent objects are sticky. Yuck! When deciding to go No Contact, most limerents soon discover that detaching themselves from LO is harder than expected. LOs are good at pulling you back. You …
A good summary of the purposeful mindset
I'm getting to be quite a fan of Mel Robbins. I signed up for her "best decade ever" course this year and it's great so far. While I'd (rather inevitably) nitpick the details of her pop neuroscience …
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Love and limerence (part two)
The previous post linked two common limerence dilemmas to an analysis of romantic love. First, what can you do when the romance dies with the limerence, and second, what can you do when a long-term …