One of the things I'm most curious about when it comes to limerence, is whether it is a "normal" process that can occasionally go wrong, or - by definition - a mental illness. This kind of question …
Why is limerence so powerful?
When in the grip of limerence, all other concerns fade into the background. LO becomes the centre of your mental world. Ironically, the impact of this phenomenon can be most obvious after limerence …
Jealousy
Post stimulated by comment by Sharnhorst. Thanks Sharnhorst! Is jealousy an inevitable part of limerence? I may be wrong, but to me limerence without the desire for exclusivity seems to be a …
Happily ever after
Many people blame fairytales for their relationship problems. Especially Disney. Damn Cinderellas and Princes Charming and happilys ever after. So unrealistic. But that word, "happily", is a …
The three phases of limerence
Here's a good podcast about limerence from Joe Beam, a marriage counsellor in the US. It's quite long, but worth it because there are a few real gems. The topic of discussion is focussed on married …
What to do if you are married but limerent for someone else
Following on from musings about midlife, one of the commonest problems that more mature limerents face is falling for a new LO when committed to someone else. This is hard enough to deal with in a …
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Finding the right match
Dating is fun and complicated and painful and confusing. A major source of pain and confusion is mismatched expectations. Now, having a blog about limerence, it's sort of obvious that I'd think that …
Midlife crisis for limerents
Midlife is an interesting time. It begins to dawn on you that whatever endeavours you threw yourself into in early adulthood are coming to fruition. In many careers, it becomes clear - and pretty much …
I’m totally over this. Let’s go for coffee!
Hee hee. Limerence and its wily ways. I recently came across this quote from Irvin Yalom (an eminent therapist) about overcoming infatuation: Nor is the dissolution a steady process. Setbacks occur— …
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Why are some people so addictive?
Some people have all the luck. You know the ones, always seem to have someone on their arm. Sometimes several someones at once (probably not literally). Although they appear outwardly normal, there's …
Sometimes love takes work
I'm not a fan of this aphorism. It's true, in the sense that all human endeavours are sometimes hard work and that love is not some magical exception that just perfectly coasts along for years if you …
The seduction of Romance
I tend to assume that limerents must all be romantics. Life certainly makes it easy - the Disney model of the one true love overlaps nicely with the idealisation of LOs. Oh, they are so very special. …