Limerence has different effects on you at different points in your life. It's one thing for a young adult experiencing the mania for the first time and free to immerse themselves in romantic …
The Science of Love
Well, another Christmas has rolled around, and I'm busy counting my blessings and reflecting on a rough year for everyone. With all the restrictions in place in the UK, it's a less sociable Christmas …
The need for change
Limerence offers some serious life lessons. It a good idea to learn from them. When limerence arrives unexpectedly - when you weren't actively seeking romance - it can be a bit of a shock. …
A guide for coaches and therapists
I often receive requests to recommend a therapist or coach who is expert in limerence. Not knowing any, I struggle to help. I also receive comments from folks who have talked to their …
The death of hope
We talk a lot here at LwL about the gulf between intellectual acceptance that a limerent episode should end, and the emotional willingness to walk away. Many limerents come to the point of surveying …
Tolerance as a protection mechanism against limerence
One of the cornerstones of purposeful living is having a clear understanding of your own goals and motivations. This principle might sound self-centred, but it needn't be - your purpose could be …
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Can we choose to fall out of love?
That's the title of this interesting TedX talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-seMFHOxZhI I have some issues with the neuroscience, but the speaker (Dessa) is great, and it's a story that …
Why limerence feels so good
Limerence feels bloody amazing. I'm several years out from my last limerence episode, and this distance can sometimes be a benefit, but it's also a limitation. It makes it easier to analyse the …
Obligation
A good discussion broke out in the comments a few weeks ago about obligation. Scharnhorst argued that obligation is one of the most powerful forces that directs our behaviour - more so than fear, …
Emergency deprogramming, mark 2
Last year, I launched an online course on how to deprogram your limerent brain. This year, I've been revising and updating it, in amongst all the other craziness that 2020 has thrown at us all. I'm …
How does limerence begin?
For some people limerence hits like a bolt of lightning; for others, it’s a slow burn. But what starts the whole thing going? What conditions make us vulnerable? There are three key factors that seem …
Jekyll and Hyde
The strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is one of those rare stories that has such psychological potency that it becomes a shorthand for a fundamental human experience, and lasts in the public …