Reader Vincent suggests "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg as a useful perspective on limerence. It's a great book. I really enjoyed it, and there are some fascinating insights. One of the …
Unavailable LOs
Reader Jaideux asks "...is it possible that a limerent subconsciously chooses the unavailable LO (over and over in my case) because of the guaranteed outcome of failure, there is actually less …
Living with uncertainty
Uncertainty is a central feature of limerence. It acts as a fuel for deepening the obsession (constantly ruminating on what every word, gesture and meaningful look might mean), and seems to be …
What can spouses do?
When your spouse or partner becomes limerent for someone else, it stinks. Quite reasonably, many people experiencing this relationship-testing stress wonder desperately what they can do to …
When LOs return, part two
In a previous post I wrote about the fact that my LO was re-entering my life and that we were working together on a short project. It's done. So, was it worth the effort? What did I learn? …
Limerence and polyamory
Spin out post from a previous comment thread. Long time reader, first time commenter, Landry asks: What I’d like to know is how folks feel about polyamory and why is it that sexual/romantic/emotional …
Caring about LO
Limerence is about bonding. There's plenty of room to discuss whether it's good or bad bonding, and how it relates to longer-term love, but the central experience of limerence is becoming powerfully …
Displacement activities
A question from the postbag: What I wanted to ask is whether you think other activities might be helpful as a replacement or as some sort of therapy? One therapist suggested to me that perhaps I …
When LOs return
My LO is coming back. For professional reasons, we are going to be working on a project together for a few weeks. I thought about declining the job. I also thought about the implications of making …
The benefits of No Contact
One of the most effective methods for neutralising limerence is also one of the most obvious: stop spending time with LO. No contact FTW! But given the amazing capacity for limerents to daydream, …
Limerence, everywhere I look…
So it's possible that writing this blog has somewhat distorted my view of the world, but I couldn't help reading this Guardian article and nodding to myself, "Uh, huh. Limerence for sure". It …
Who is to blame for limerence?
A common feature of limerence for many people is a feeling that your ordinary life has been struck by a powerful external force that has changed your perceptions, your priorities, and your ability to …