Limerence has been described as a cross between OCD and addiction. This is a useful simplification in many ways, because limerence is characterised by obsessive, intrusive thoughts, and we can get so …
A limerence quiz
April 2022 update: The quiz developed in this post has now been set up as a complete limerence survey: available here I occasionally receive emails from people who are going through a …
Supernormal stimuli
One of the defining features of limerence - and the feature that makes it so difficult for others to understand - is the wildly exaggerated importance that we assign to our limerent objects. Why do we …
Case study: why do I feel betrayed?
Sammy got in touch with a great suggestion for a post topic: Dorothy Tennov writes in her book that limerents often feel betrayed by their LOs (presumably after things have gone south). If you or …
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Limerence at different ages
Limerence has different effects on you at different points in your life. It's one thing for a young adult experiencing the mania for the first time and free to immerse themselves in romantic …
The Science of Love
Well, another Christmas has rolled around, and I'm busy counting my blessings and reflecting on a rough year for everyone. With all the restrictions in place in the UK, it's a less sociable Christmas …
The need for change
Limerence offers some serious life lessons. It a good idea to learn from them. When limerence arrives unexpectedly - when you weren't actively seeking romance - it can be a bit of a shock. …
A guide for coaches and therapists
I often receive requests to recommend a therapist or coach who is expert in limerence. Not knowing any, I struggle to help. I also receive comments from folks who have talked to their …
The death of hope
We talk a lot here at LwL about the gulf between intellectual acceptance that a limerent episode should end, and the emotional willingness to walk away. Many limerents come to the point of surveying …
Tolerance as a protection mechanism against limerence
One of the cornerstones of purposeful living is having a clear understanding of your own goals and motivations. This principle might sound self-centred, but it needn't be - your purpose could be …
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Can we choose to fall out of love?
That's the title of this interesting TedX talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-seMFHOxZhI I have some issues with the neuroscience, but the speaker (Dessa) is great, and it's a story that …
Why limerence feels so good
Limerence feels bloody amazing. I'm several years out from my last limerence episode, and this distance can sometimes be a benefit, but it's also a limitation. It makes it easier to analyse the …