I'd planned a case study for this week's blog, but it's fallen through, so instead here's a video on how to design your life. If you read around the self-development literature for a while, you …
The neuroscience of self-discipline
In the last post, I argued that training yourself to become more disciplined was a route to success in resisting the temptation of limerence. In the spirit of scientific debate, here's a …
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Self-discipline as limerence armour
One of the best defences against unwanted limerence is strength of character. The moral fibre, decisiveness and self-discipline to do the right thing even in the face of the tsumani of temptation that …
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Where to find purpose
In the last post I mused on how life is like a river, and how it is important to navigate it rather than just drift where the current takes you. That raises the question of where you should …
When are we most vulnerable to limerence?
In the last post, there was a good chat in the comments about purposeful living - the life philosophy that I argue is the best protection against limerence. I've posted a few times about the idea, but …
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What is heartache?
What's going on in our bodies when we feel the painful stab of romantic rejection? It's a curious thing, when you think about it: how can our hopes and fears bring about literal chest …
Gaslighting
The philosophy here at living with limerence is founded on personal growth being the answer to most problems. Whatever the circumstances that have led you to limerence, the best response is to be …
Does limerence cause affairs?
I receive a lot of emails from limerents and partners of limerents who are embroiled in the emotional wreckage of an affair. A common lament is that the personality of the cheater seems to have …
Why can’t I stop thinking about my crush?
Everyone goes a bit gaga about their crush. Thinking about them is pleasurable, after all, and what harm could come from fantasising about the blissful times you might enjoy together? What's wrong …
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How to disclose if you want no for an answer
This still holds up as the best version of Pride and Prejudice ever filmed. Darcy's first proposal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF3ueHjUc3k In vain I have struggled; it will not do. My …
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Can infatuation turn into love?
Ah, those early days of giddy intoxication. The bliss of being with them, seeing their smile, hearing their laugh, basking in their company. Infatuation can feel marvellous, but it can also feel a …
Why can’t I get over my crush?
Sometimes a crush can become so powerful that it dominates your life. If you just can't get them out of your head, can't free yourself from their magnetic attraction, and just aren't able to move on, …