One of the consequences of being burned by limerence is that it can make you a bit cautious about romance. The discovery of limerence, and the wisdom gained by recognising that your psychological …
The Ulysses contract
Busy times in the Dr L household, and a good reminder of the need for discipline and focus when managing too many projects at once. Here's a good (if brief) talk that touches on a concept that can …
What causes obsession with another person?
Obsession comes in different forms. Sometimes we can become fixated on a fear, or a memory, or a vice, which captures our attention so completely that our thoughts become a prison. Other times, we …
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Catalogue shopping for online love
One of the biggest changes in the world of romance that has happened over the course of my life is the rise of online dating. My youth wasn't just pre-Tinder, it was pre-internet. That makes it …
Case study: I think I’m a limerent object
Another limerence case study today from a reader (we'll call her Emma) who has an unexpected role-reversal problem. Emma is a limerent who has dealt with a couple of limerence emergencies in her …
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Courage and limerence
Regular commenter Marcia raised an interesting question in the comments section from the last post, about being hesitant to try new *ahem* adventures. I always wondered if it was my fear talking. …
The morality of monogamy
In the last couple of posts, we've covered some key arguments for why monogamy exists and why it is so hard to sustain. In this last of a trilogy, I want to take on the moral cases for and against …
Why is monogamy so hard?
In the last post I laid out a case for why monogamy exists. It provoked some sturdy objections in the comments, and some good discussion as to whether the arguments were flawed. This week the goal …
Why does monogamy exist?
An interesting discussion about monogamy broke out in the comments of the last post. The subject of limerence and polyamory comes up from time to time, and not only from limerents who are …
Case study: limerence and ego
A reader got in touch recently, to ponder about the relationship between limerence and ego. A couple of years ago, R found herself in the awful sweet spot of bathing in professional praise and …
Can infatuation be platonic?
From time to time I hear from people who are experiencing the symptoms of limerence for someone they are not sexually attracted to. For many people this can be a confusing experience. Is it …
Limerence as escape
One of the arguments I make about why we are vulnerable to limerence is that the extraordinary sensations associated with that mental state of total infatuation are transformational. If life in …