Here's an interesting video about rumination and intrusive thoughts: https://youtu.be/NAT9pFN2GqU It's good overall, but there were a couple of stand-out points for me. 1. Rumination and …
Case study: limerent for a mentor
It's been a while since we considered a case study, and this one is a little mysterious. Lotus got in touch with me about her situation, but using an apparently fake or dead email address. That has …
Limerence or love addiction?
One of the difficulties in understanding and overcoming limerence is the problem of clearly understanding what it is. Part of the reason that this is so challenging is that love and romance is an area …
Why can’t I get over my first love?
Many people get hung up on their first love. Sometimes it's OK - just a pang of nostalgic longing for a timeless romance that you miss. Other times it can be much more of a problem. It can seem like …
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Limerence and anxious attachment
One of the commonest ways of interpreting limerence is to view it through the lens of attachment theory. This obviously makes good sense, because limerence is clearly a mental state focused to an …
Why can’t I get over someone I barely dated?
A curious thing about obsession is that it sometimes sets in with hardly any encouragement. Occasionally, the people who occupy our minds are not the people we know well, but mysterious individuals …
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Purposeful living for single limerents
I focus a lot on the perspective of married limerents, for an obvious reason (I'm married). However, that perspective tends to be backwards looking. What I mean by that is that limerence has …
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Design your (purposeful) life
I'd planned a case study for this week's blog, but it's fallen through, so instead here's a video on how to design your life. If you read around the self-development literature for a while, you …
The neuroscience of self-discipline
In the last post, I argued that training yourself to become more disciplined was a route to success in resisting the temptation of limerence. In the spirit of scientific debate, here's a …
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Self-discipline as limerence armour
One of the best defences against unwanted limerence is strength of character. The moral fibre, decisiveness and self-discipline to do the right thing even in the face of the tsumani of temptation that …
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Where to find purpose
In the last post I mused on how life is like a river, and how it is important to navigate it rather than just drift where the current takes you. That raises the question of where you should …
When are we most vulnerable to limerence?
In the last post, there was a good chat in the comments about purposeful living - the life philosophy that I argue is the best protection against limerence. I've posted a few times about the idea, but …
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