I spend a goodly amount of time here at LwL trying to understand the factors that make limerence more or less likely to occur. There are some repeating themes - intermittent reward, uncertainty, …
A video on purposeful living
Well, sorta. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AThycGCakk As a general principle, listening to other people who have achieved something noteworthy is a shrewd way to learn something useful. …
Wanting versus liking
One of the weird features of limerence is the ongoing desire for contact with LO even after you've realised it's unhealthy and bad for you. Well, actually, it's not all that weird - it's a common …
Common mistakes that limerents make
Limerence and good judgement are not close friends. To an outside observer, a limerent trying to navigate their interactions with an LO must look rather like a drunk trying to walk a straight line. …
Continue Reading about Common mistakes that limerents make →
Case study: limerence as a barrier to taking the first step
Ulysses is battling limerence. In his case, limerence is proving a barrier to the natural expression of his feelings: I've been struggling to get close enough of my LO to disclose my feelings to …
Continue Reading about Case study: limerence as a barrier to taking the first step →
The Recovery Room podcast
Busy times in the Dr L household, so here's a link to a podcast that I did with Tim and Sharon Tedder over at AffairHealing.com: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcast408.html ...in which I …
Case study: spiritually reinforcing limerence
I recently heard from John, a reader whose wife has become limerent for someone else, but with an unusual twist that I hadn't come across before. First off, John has clearly been reading carefully as …
Continue Reading about Case study: spiritually reinforcing limerence →
Getting through to limerent spouses
Some of the most upsetting emails that arrive in my inbox are from spouses who have had their marriage collapse from under them because their husband or wife has become limerent for someone else. At …
Continue Reading about Getting through to limerent spouses →
Figuring out how best to “treat” limerence
One of the most fascinating areas of science for me is the interface between neuroscience and psychology. To be more specific: neurophysiology is the study of how brains work at a mechanistic level …
Continue Reading about Figuring out how best to “treat” limerence →
Spotting trouble: LOs to avoid
A guiding principle of this site is that limerence is a psychological trait that a certain fraction of humankind has, and not a pathology or defect to be exterminated. The best approach to limerence, …
Rebuilding trust
For those married folks struggling with limerence, I'm a big advocate of disclosure to your spouse as a powerful tactic for recovery. I've talked about the benefits before, but as with all …
The four phases of No Contact
No contact is the soundest strategy for getting over an LO, but it's also often logistically tricky, difficult to implement, and difficult to stick to. Whenever you're faced with a problem …