What's going on in our bodies when we feel the painful stab of romantic rejection? It's a curious thing, when you think about it: how can our hopes and fears bring about literal chest …
Gaslighting
The philosophy here at living with limerence is founded on personal growth being the answer to most problems. Whatever the circumstances that have led you to limerence, the best response is to be …
Does limerence cause affairs?
I receive a lot of emails from limerents and partners of limerents who are embroiled in the emotional wreckage of an affair. A common lament is that the personality of the cheater seems to have …
Why can’t I stop thinking about my crush?
Everyone goes a bit gaga about their crush. Thinking about them is pleasurable, after all, and what harm could come from fantasising about the blissful times you might enjoy together? What's wrong …
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How to disclose if you want no for an answer
This still holds up as the best version of Pride and Prejudice ever filmed. Darcy's first proposal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF3ueHjUc3k In vain I have struggled; it will not do. My …
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Can infatuation turn into love?
Ah, those early days of giddy intoxication. The bliss of being with them, seeing their smile, hearing their laugh, basking in their company. Infatuation can feel marvellous, but it can also feel a …
Why can’t I get over my crush?
Sometimes a crush can become so powerful that it dominates your life. If you just can't get them out of your head, can't free yourself from their magnetic attraction, and just aren't able to move on, …
Spring is a time for renewal
I love Spring. The world is warming up, the daffodils are out, and the sense of life renewing itself can't help but make me feel optimistic. Beside the lake, beneath the trees; Fluttering and …
The perils of online dating for limerents
Being a middle-aged married man, the perils and pitfalls of dating are a distant memory for me now. Mostly of noisy nightclubs and flavoured vodka For people of my vintage, "going out" with …
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Why limerence is not just a crush
From time to time I get invited to contribute to a podcast or article about obsessive love, and one of the questions about limerence that is pretty much guaranteed to come up is: Isn't that …
How long will my limerence last?
The average duration of a limerent episode is between 18 months and 3 years. That estimate comes from Tennov's book, and was based on interviews with hundreds of people struggling with …
The psychology of limerent Idealisation
One of the defining features of limerence is the tendency to idealise your limerent object. You see them as Special with a capital S, different from ordinary people, extraordinary in their …
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