One of the commonest ways of interpreting limerence is to view it through the lens of attachment theory. This obviously makes good sense, because limerence is clearly a mental state focused to an …
Why can’t I get over someone I barely dated?
A curious thing about obsession is that it sometimes sets in with hardly any encouragement. Occasionally, the people who occupy our minds are not the people we know well, but mysterious individuals …
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Purposeful living for single limerents
I focus a lot on the perspective of married limerents, for an obvious reason (I'm married). However, that perspective tends to be backwards looking. What I mean by that is that limerence has …
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Design your (purposeful) life
I'd planned a case study for this week's blog, but it's fallen through, so instead here's a video on how to design your life. If you read around the self-development literature for a while, you …
The neuroscience of self-discipline
In the last post, I argued that training yourself to become more disciplined was a route to success in resisting the temptation of limerence. In the spirit of scientific debate, here's a …
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Self-discipline as limerence armour
One of the best defences against unwanted limerence is strength of character. The moral fibre, decisiveness and self-discipline to do the right thing even in the face of the tsumani of temptation that …
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Where to find purpose
In the last post I mused on how life is like a river, and how it is important to navigate it rather than just drift where the current takes you. That raises the question of where you should …
When are we most vulnerable to limerence?
In the last post, there was a good chat in the comments about purposeful living - the life philosophy that I argue is the best protection against limerence. I've posted a few times about the idea, but …
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What is heartache?
What's going on in our bodies when we feel the painful stab of romantic rejection? It's a curious thing, when you think about it: how can our hopes and fears bring about literal chest …
Gaslighting
The philosophy here at living with limerence is founded on personal growth being the answer to most problems. Whatever the circumstances that have led you to limerence, the best response is to be …
Does limerence cause affairs?
I receive a lot of emails from limerents and partners of limerents who are embroiled in the emotional wreckage of an affair. A common lament is that the personality of the cheater seems to have …
Why can’t I stop thinking about my crush?
Everyone goes a bit gaga about their crush. Thinking about them is pleasurable, after all, and what harm could come from fantasising about the blissful times you might enjoy together? What's wrong …
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