From time to time, I hear from people who repeatedly become limerent for individuals who are unavailable, unreliable, or just generally have bad character. Their limerent objects are unhealthy to bond …
The BBC discovers limerence
From time to time I do a quick YouTube search on limerence, stimulated by curiosity about how prevalent the concept is becoming in wider society. Today I discovered a BBC video that is an impressively …
How to stop thinking about someone you can’t have
It's a curious thing, obsession. One day you meet an amazing, attractive person, maybe get to know them a little, and luxuriate in the warmth of their delightful company. You find yourself …
Continue Reading about How to stop thinking about someone you can’t have →
Who are you attracted to?
I've written a few posts about what makes someone unusually attractive, why some people seem so addictive, and what kind of people are good at provoking infatuation - what makes them, in short, …
Case study: post-limerence melancholy
Today's limerence quandary comes from C, who is coming out of her most recent limerent episode into an emotional wasteland. C is married, and has been limerent multiple times, both before and …
Continue Reading about Case study: post-limerence melancholy →
Limerence and serotonin
Limerence has two major components: The inbuilt systems of the brain that we all share, which can be activated by the right stimuliOur individual personal history that determines which stimuli …
Case study: obsessed with my LO’s LO
Limerence is all about obsession, but sometimes the thought loops that ensnare us are surprising. Today's case study is from Violet, who was making progress in recovery before hitting a new …
Continue Reading about Case study: obsessed with my LO’s LO →
A new approach to New Year’s resolutions
Happy 2022 everyone! Every year, at this time of year, millions of people make resolutions about what they want to achieve in the year to come. I'm one of them. I enjoy the process of reviewing …
Continue Reading about A new approach to New Year’s resolutions →
Season’s greetings
Goodness me. Another Christmas has rolled around. 2021 has been quite a year. As if to cement the drama, my family has finally been hit by covid, having previously managed to dodge it through two …
Case study: when should I commit?
One of the consequences of being burned by limerence is that it can make you a bit cautious about romance. The discovery of limerence, and the wisdom gained by recognising that your psychological …
The Ulysses contract
Busy times in the Dr L household, and a good reminder of the need for discipline and focus when managing too many projects at once. Here's a good (if brief) talk that touches on a concept that can …
What causes obsession with another person?
Obsession comes in different forms. Sometimes we can become fixated on a fear, or a memory, or a vice, which captures our attention so completely that our thoughts become a prison. Other times, we …
Continue Reading about What causes obsession with another person? →