Limerence has two major components: The inbuilt systems of the brain that we all share, which can be activated by the right stimuliOur individual personal history that determines which stimuli …
Case study: obsessed with my LO’s LO
Limerence is all about obsession, but sometimes the thought loops that ensnare us are surprising. Today's case study is from Violet, who was making progress in recovery before hitting a new …
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A new approach to New Year’s resolutions
Happy 2022 everyone! Every year, at this time of year, millions of people make resolutions about what they want to achieve in the year to come. I'm one of them. I enjoy the process of reviewing …
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Season’s greetings
Goodness me. Another Christmas has rolled around. 2021 has been quite a year. As if to cement the drama, my family has finally been hit by covid, having previously managed to dodge it through two …
Case study: when should I commit?
One of the consequences of being burned by limerence is that it can make you a bit cautious about romance. The discovery of limerence, and the wisdom gained by recognising that your psychological …
The Ulysses contract
Busy times in the Dr L household, and a good reminder of the need for discipline and focus when managing too many projects at once. Here's a good (if brief) talk that touches on a concept that can …
What causes obsession with another person?
Obsession comes in different forms. Sometimes we can become fixated on a fear, or a memory, or a vice, which captures our attention so completely that our thoughts become a prison. Other times, we …
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Catalogue shopping for online love
One of the biggest changes in the world of romance that has happened over the course of my life is the rise of online dating. My youth wasn't just pre-Tinder, it was pre-internet. That makes it …
Case study: I think I’m a limerent object
Another limerence case study today from a reader (we'll call her Emma) who has an unexpected role-reversal problem. Emma is a limerent who has dealt with a couple of limerence emergencies in her …
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Courage and limerence
Regular commenter Marcia raised an interesting question in the comments section from the last post, about being hesitant to try new *ahem* adventures. I always wondered if it was my fear talking. …
The morality of monogamy
In the last couple of posts, we've covered some key arguments for why monogamy exists and why it is so hard to sustain. In this last of a trilogy, I want to take on the moral cases for and against …
Why is monogamy so hard?
In the last post I laid out a case for why monogamy exists. It provoked some sturdy objections in the comments, and some good discussion as to whether the arguments were flawed. This week the goal …