Unwanted limerence often flares up when we are discontented with life. Not always, of course, and plenty of contented and empowered people can find their romantic lives turned upside down by a …
Chemistry versus compatibility: how to choose a partner
One of the biggest difficulties in romantic relationships is the conflict between two necessary factors: chemistry and compatibility. Chemistry is the visceral excitement of desire - the sparky, …
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Case study: finding purpose out of limerence
One of the abiding themes of this site is that purposeful living is the fastest way to recover from limerence, and to protect yourself against future episodes. An additional benefit of that …
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Limerence and bonding
The relationship between limerence and sex is complicated. For most people, limerence is an undeniably romantic drive, and it therefore has a potent erotic element. For some people with a generally …
Coffeehouse: Jealous LOs
Another visit to the virtual coffeehouse, where important issues of the day get decided by important people. Today's topic is stimulated by commenter Blue Ivy. She's dealing with limerence for a …
Limerence and the rescue fantasy
The "rescue fantasy" was a concept first coined by Freud, to describe male clients who (in his words): ...repeatedly fall in love with a woman who is ‘of bad repute sexually’ and ‘to whom another …
Analysis of the limerence experience
A few weeks ago, I published a limerence quiz, designed to give people a quick and easy way to assess whether or not they fit the "limerent" personality profile when it comes to falling in …
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Quick update: key articles
It's been a busy week, so today's post is just a quick update to say that there is now, at last, a "key articles" page on the site that summarises the, um, key articles from the 272 total post count. …
The worst case of limerence I’ve ever seen
An article from the Sydney Morning Herald has been doing the rounds on social (and legacy) media of late: Less than a month after I met my soulmate, I ended my 14-year marriage. Now, people have …
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Why do I become obsessed with certain people?
One of the most psychologically interesting (and disconcerting) features of romantic life is the mismatch between what we think we want and what we actually desire. Few things illustrate this more …
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Oscar-winning beauty
With all the focus on the slap, the actual awards at this year's Oscars got rather overlooked. For example, the winner of the Best Animated Short Film was "The Windshield Wiper"; a downbeat name …
Severus Snape, limerent
When it comes to literature and film, there are countless examples of characters driven mad by limerence - epic, tragic romances of soul-scouring obsessive love. Romeo and Juliet, Dante and Beatrice, …