If this blog has a theme it's that mastery over limerence comes from living with purpose. That's the only way I know of to make the lasting changes needed to rob limerence of its power to derail your …
Limerence as an act of rebellion
There can be lots of reasons why people fall into limerence: anxiety, uncertainty about what they want from life, midlife stress that time is running out, problems with their long-term …
The stories we tell ourselves
In the previous post, I talked about reverie, and how limerents tend to rehearse scenes in their minds as a way of feeling connected to LO and trying to prepare for future meetings. Another aspect of …
The seduction of limerent reverie
It's fair to say that limerents think about their limerent objects quite often. Say, every moment of every day. OK, maybe every other moment. The point is: they invade your mind. The nature of this …
Introvert limerents
When in a thoughtful mood, one of the more absorbing aspects of limerence in my opinion is the potential for intersection with other psychological traits and mental disorders. A notion that has been …
Why is it so hard to kick the limerence habit?
Easy answer: because deep down you don't want to. I like the idea of defining limerence as "person addiction", and one of the reasons that definition seems so apt is because addicts are driven by a …
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Kicking the limerence habit
Reader Vincent suggests "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg as a useful perspective on limerence. It's a great book. I really enjoyed it, and there are some fascinating insights. One of the …
Unavailable LOs
Reader Jaideux asks "...is it possible that a limerent subconsciously chooses the unavailable LO (over and over in my case) because of the guaranteed outcome of failure, there is actually less …
Living with uncertainty
Uncertainty is a central feature of limerence. It acts as a fuel for deepening the obsession (constantly ruminating on what every word, gesture and meaningful look might mean), and seems to be …
What can spouses do?
When your spouse or partner becomes limerent for someone else, it stinks. Quite reasonably, many people experiencing this relationship-testing stress wonder desperately what they can do to …
Limerence and polyamory
Spin out post from a previous comment thread. Long time reader, first time commenter, Landry asks: What I’d like to know is how folks feel about polyamory and why is it that sexual/romantic/emotional …
Caring about LO
Limerence is about bonding. There's plenty of room to discuss whether it's good or bad bonding, and how it relates to longer-term love, but the central experience of limerence is becoming powerfully …