A major development in the understanding of human relationships took place in the last few decades of the 20th century. "Attachment theory" originated from the study of child-caregiver interactions …
Should you disclose to your significant other?
Over the last couple of posts, I've concentrated on the issue of disclosure. The focus was on disclosure to the LO, but if the limerent is in a relationship, then the question of disclosure to their …
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When not to disclose
The previous post covered the benefits of disclosing your feelings to your LO, and when it may be a worthwhile thing to do. Disclosure is never a simple choice, of course, and can lead to more …
When to disclose
In a previous post, I described disclosure as the nuclear option for getting rid of limerence. While obviously jokey, it is true that disclosure has the potential to really blow up your life in a big …
Limerence dreams
A defining feature of limerence is persistent, intrusive thoughts about LO. And it doesn't even let up when you are asleep. Frequent dreams about LO are very common, and can be quite informative. Now, …
Getting through the aftermath of No Contact
When limerence is a problem in life, and when an individual limerent decides to take charge of themselves and go no contact, they then face a trial of self-discipline. If this scenario applies to …
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Case study: Is my current relationship bound to be unfulfilling because it is non-limerent?
A change of pace today, stimulated by a question sent in by SK. I'll start with the disclaimer that I have no qualifications as a psychologist, psychiatrist or other professional analyst. However, I …
Flirting at work
I've talked before about flirting and how it's complicated for limerents. It's been on my mind again. There's a real sense of a sea-change in culture at the moment, with #MeToo and Oxfam and …
One year on
So, I've been posting away in this blog now for a year, and it has been a lot of fun and pretty cathartic. Looking back at the list of posts, I appear to have typed quite a lot. Looking to the …
Deprogramming the limerent brain
Time usually resolves limerence, but sometimes we limerents impatiently wonder, where's the damn off switch? Now some people are resistant to the very idea of reducing love to a biochemical process …
The allure of bad boys and girls
All limerents are at some point going to be confronted by the need to try and understand why they become limerent for particular LOs. Some will be unfortunate enough to realise that they repeatedly …
Is limerence a mental illness?
One of the things I'm most curious about when it comes to limerence, is whether it is a "normal" process that can occasionally go wrong, or - by definition - a mental illness. This kind of question …