Life is stressful. By the time people reach adulthood, they have generally developed a suite of methods for coping with stress, avoiding stress, or reducing stress. Some of these coping strategies are …
Limerence for a co-worker
This has to be one of the commonest limerence traps out there. It's certainly the most common scenario that people email me about, and no wonder; all the elements of limerence are there: close …
Understanding the limerent high
One of the nice benefits of running this site is that I get to hear from lots of interesting people about how limerence is affecting their lives. A surprisingly common lament - often voiced quietly or …
Rewriting history
Commenter Maddie asks about the disorienting strangeness when limerents - especially ones who have embarked on affairs - rewrite the history of their marriage. Suddenly, a life together that had …
The Devil within us
Following on from previous musings about how breaking the limerence habit can feel like an battle with an internal version of yourself that is greedy and has poor impulse control, I've been thinking …
Transition complete
*Taps microphone* I think this is on. Welcome all to the newly configured site. Hopefully all is well, but no doubt I'll be chasing broken links and glitches for a while. If anyone spots something, …
A new era
Well now. I've been typing away here at LwL for almost two years, and am still having a good time of it. Lots of people email me to share their stories, and thank me for setting this place up, which …
Can limerence be safely harnessed?
At first limerence is amazing. And then it isn't. This transition - from exhilarating to exhausting - mirrors the transition from initial high to desperate dependency for drugs of abuse, which is …
Narcissist LOs
Reader jaideux suggested a post on narcissistic LOs. It's an important topic, and a real danger for limerents. Anyone who feeds the limerence cycle is a threat, but narcissists can combine the worst …
Overcoming limerence for good
If this blog has a theme it's that mastery over limerence comes from living with purpose. That's the only way I know of to make the lasting changes needed to rob limerence of its power to derail your …
Limerence as an act of rebellion
There can be lots of reasons why people fall into limerence: anxiety, uncertainty about what they want from life, midlife stress that time is running out, problems with their long-term …
The stories we tell ourselves
In the previous post, I talked about reverie, and how limerents tend to rehearse scenes in their minds as a way of feeling connected to LO and trying to prepare for future meetings. Another aspect of …