Reader Jaideux asks "...is it possible that a limerent subconsciously chooses the unavailable LO (over and over in my case) because of the guaranteed outcome of failure, there is actually less …
Living with uncertainty
Uncertainty is a central feature of limerence. It acts as a fuel for deepening the obsession (constantly ruminating on what every word, gesture and meaningful look might mean), and seems to be …
What can spouses do?
When your spouse or partner becomes limerent for someone else, it stinks. Quite reasonably, many people experiencing this relationship-testing stress wonder desperately what they can do to …
Limerence and polyamory
Spin out post from a previous comment thread. Long time reader, first time commenter, Landry asks: What I’d like to know is how folks feel about polyamory and why is it that sexual/romantic/emotional …
Caring about LO
Limerence is about bonding. There's plenty of room to discuss whether it's good or bad bonding, and how it relates to longer-term love, but the central experience of limerence is becoming powerfully …
Displacement activities
A question from the postbag: What I wanted to ask is whether you think other activities might be helpful as a replacement or as some sort of therapy? One therapist suggested to me that perhaps I …
The benefits of No Contact
One of the most effective methods for neutralising limerence is also one of the most obvious: stop spending time with LO. No contact FTW! But given the amazing capacity for limerents to daydream, …
Limerence, everywhere I look…
So it's possible that writing this blog has somewhat distorted my view of the world, but I couldn't help reading this Guardian article and nodding to myself, "Uh, huh. Limerence for sure". It …
Limerence and emotional attachment
A major development in the understanding of human relationships took place in the last few decades of the 20th century. "Attachment theory" originated from the study of child-caregiver interactions …
Should you disclose to your significant other?
Over the last couple of posts, I've concentrated on the issue of disclosure. The focus was on disclosure to the LO, but if the limerent is in a relationship, then the question of disclosure to their …
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When not to disclose
The previous post covered the benefits of disclosing your feelings to your LO, and when it may be a worthwhile thing to do. Disclosure is never a simple choice, of course, and can lead to more …
When to disclose
In a previous post, I described disclosure as the nuclear option for getting rid of limerence. While obviously jokey, it is true that disclosure has the potential to really blow up your life in a big …