A change of pace today, stimulated by a question sent in by SK. I'll start with the disclaimer that I have no qualifications as a psychologist, psychiatrist or other professional analyst. However, I …
Flirting at work
I've talked before about flirting and how it's complicated for limerents. It's been on my mind again. There's a real sense of a sea-change in culture at the moment, with #MeToo and Oxfam and …
One year on
So, I've been posting away in this blog now for a year, and it has been a lot of fun and pretty cathartic. Looking back at the list of posts, I appear to have typed quite a lot. Looking to the …
Deprogramming the limerent brain
Time usually resolves limerence, but sometimes we limerents impatiently wonder, where's the damn off switch? Now some people are resistant to the very idea of reducing love to a biochemical process …
The allure of bad boys and girls
All limerents are at some point going to be confronted by the need to try and understand why they become limerent for particular LOs. Some will be unfortunate enough to realise that they repeatedly …
Is limerence a mental illness?
One of the things I'm most curious about when it comes to limerence, is whether it is a "normal" process that can occasionally go wrong, or - by definition - a mental illness. This kind of question …
Why is limerence so powerful?
When in the grip of limerence, all other concerns fade into the background. LO becomes the centre of your mental world. Ironically, the impact of this phenomenon can be most obvious …
Jealousy
Post stimulated by comment by Sharnhorst. Thanks Sharnhorst! Is jealousy an inevitable part of limerence? I may be wrong, but to me limerence without the desire for exclusivity seems to be a …
Happily ever after
Many people blame fairytales for their relationship problems. Especially Disney. Damn Cinderellas and Princes Charming and happilys ever after. So unrealistic. But that word, "happily", is a …
The three phases of limerence
Here's a good podcast about limerence from Joe Beam, a marriage counsellor in the US. It's quite long, but worth it because there are a few real gems. The topic of discussion is focussed on married …
What to do if you are married but limerent for someone else
Following on from musings about midlife, one of the commonest problems that more mature limerents face is falling for a new LO when committed to someone else. This is hard enough to deal with in a …
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Finding the right match
Dating is fun and complicated and painful and confusing. A major source of pain and confusion is mismatched expectations. Now, having a blog about limerence, it's sort of obvious that I'd think that …