Hi, All. Quick announcement:
I’ve been contacted by a production company who are preparing a podcast on limerence and obsessive love for the LA times. They are keen to interview limerents about their experiences, and also very keen to find limerent objects for their experience of being on the receiving end – as it were.
Could be a good opportunity to raise awareness about limerence and its effects…
For anyone who’s interested, here are the contact details:
Podcast series on limerence is looking for true stories to share and learn from – if you are willing to be recorded for an interview, please reach out to: firstname.lastname@example.org
I’m not interested in participating but I’d like to listen to it when it’s published.
Will you be able to link it when it’s done?
If I get one, I’ll post it!
I’m certainly not ready for prime time. “Married but limerent”, not having disclosed to my SO, and going from limerent to EA back to limerent makes it a no-go. And part of me doesn’t want to “go through it again” via the retelling. I don’t post (or write) as much currently because of the fear of undoing the progress I have made. It’s tough because I can see the podcasts as a public service.
Hey, you aren’t THE Thinker, are you? The original from Tribe?
Anonymous Limerent says
Yeah, I saw someone called ‘Thinker’ on limerence.net. Is that you?
No, it is not me unless I have multiple personalities.
You’ll always be the original and best Thinker on this site 🙂
Yeah, I’m torn on this one. (But being torn is the natural state of the married limerent, right?) It would be a service to the community to get the word out there and I think it’d be fun to be interviewed. But…only until my wife finds out. Then…fuggedaboudit! My marriage would be toast.
What I am going to do is reach out to the guy at the LA Times and suggest that they include SOs of the limerents as part of their podcast. LOs often have no clue they even are LOs–only the most narcissistic of knowing LOs would sally up to the microphone is my guess. But who knows? And if we think of limerence as an addiction issue, then the SO (if they know) can be a big part of the “treatment.”
I still say the greatest pain, conflict, shame, guilt, remorse, etc felt with regard to limerence is when the limerent is married. Otherwise, it’s just powerful and acceptable inspiration for so many songs and poetry and all of that.
Anyway, what do people think about that? I’m curious…
I agree the specific potential downside risk can outweigh the potential benefit to the greater good. Especially, if you haven’t disclosed to your SO.
I debated about starting to post on the site. I think if my wife read this site and didn’t know I was here, she wouldn’t figure it out. I’m in a better place because I found this site but it would be very difficult to explain why to my wife. It would open up a can of worms going back decades.
Now, as far as I know, none of my LOs know they’re LOs. If LO #2 or LO #4 read my posts, there’s enough detail for them to have a real chance of knowing who posted it and who I was talking about. LO #4 is at least familiar with the term “limerence,” although I doubt she was referring to me when she used it. There’s no doubt in my mind that she wouldn’t find it flattering if she figured I was talking about her.
“And if we think of limerence as an addiction issue, then the SO (if they know) can be a big part of the “treatment.”
That would require disclosure to the SO. Part of treating addicts is treating the family.
I definitely think it’s worth mentioning the SO idea. They are the ones who are generally more “in the know” than LOs.
It’s tricky to think about which kind of LOs could be approached. If the limerent has a reasonable grasp of social conventions they’re not going to mention the whole “by the way I’m soooo infatuated with you” even if they do disclose. Which might mean a selection bias for LOs who had creepy stalker limerents who told them everything and then still hung around…
“It’s tricky to think about which kind of LOs could be approached. If the limerent has a reasonable grasp of social conventions they’re not going to mention the whole “by the way I’m soooo infatuated with you” even if they do disclose. Which might mean a selection bias for LOs who had creepy stalker limerents who told them everything and then still hung around…”
For the record, when I disclosed to LO #4, I flat out told her I had seen my EAP counselor who’d said, “Get away from this woman and stay away from her. Stay involved with this woman and this will not end well for you.” LO #4 said she was “…flattered and might possibly be curious but circumstances are what they are” (i.e., “you’re married.”) She added that if I got it together we could maintain the acquaintance. I thought I had and we started corresponding again. She’d open up, I’d respond, and she’d either drop out of sight or respond with something that had absolutely nothing to do with anything I’d said. That pissed me off and we went pretty deep in the weeds over that with the end result being she sent me a FB friend request. That sent my anxiety through the roof. A few months later, in my response to her eventual goodbye, I reiterated that I’d seen an EAP counselor who had predicted much of what LO #4 said in the goodbye.
Whatever she thinks, she can’r possibly claim she wasn’t aware of the level we were on.
I have volunteered to be interviewed and spoke to Jarrod today. My SO knows about my LE, my LO does not, and as things continue to improve with LC, I think this may be beneficial.
That’s great, Pudding.
I was interviewed yesterday, and it was all good. Hopefully this will be a valuable podcast, and raise awareness about limerence and its effects.
What kind of questions did they ask?
If they have questions, maybe they could ask them via you and you act as front man.
They were most interested in my personal experiences. It was a good discussion, but I tended to ramble on about the usual topics from the site 🙂 Not sure there would be much value for me being middleman – they want personal stories in the limerent or LO’s own voices.
One thing that was a possible point of confusion, I think, was that I was talking about limerence from the Tennov perspective (i.e. it’s a personality trait like introversion or agreeableness) and having had some time to think afterwards, I suspect they may have been approaching the topic more as an “obsessive love” perspective – i.e. more of a mental illness.
I guess we’ll see…