Mutual limerence is a topic that often pops up in the comments section, and in my email inbox. Some describe it as a unicorn scenario, others describe it as a curse. Many of the people who contact me …
Case study: relentless limerence
Today's case study comes from Rachel, who is happily married, but suffering from unrelenting limerence. The quick summary of her situation is that she had a hunch that a colleague of her husband was …
Coffeehouse: how to resist temptation
I've been away this week on work business, but managed to find some time between meetings to discover a lovely old-fashioned coffeehouse with oak-panelled walls, chrome fixtures and fittings, a …
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How to tell someone you just want to be friends
For compassionate people, it can be upsetting to discover that a friend has become infatuated with you. Everyone likes to be admired, but when you care for someone without having romantic feelings, …
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This crush just won’t be crushed!
Over at the New York Times, Roxane Gay writes an advice column about work and life called "Work Friend". The title of a recent edition caught my eye: The thrill of the office crush. The scenario is …
Case study: losing faith in love because of limerence
Today's case study is from Louis, who got in touch because he's been burned by limerence and now fears it has soured his whole attitude to love and romance. As background, Louis is in his 20s, but …
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Why does romantic attraction fade?
There's nothing like falling in love. The world fills with colour, life is full of promise and possibility, your mood dances a jig, and your body fizzes with excitement and euphoria. Heady …
Finding purpose when languishing
I've spent this week working on a new post on the neuroscience of how limerence fades, drawing on the literature of habituation and hedonic adaptation, but if I'm honest it's been a bit of a …
Limerence research survey
Following on from a previous research project, I was recently contacted by a team from the University of Sussex in the UK who are running a new project, in collaboration with the team from Sheffield. …
A good video on limerence
Very busy week for me this week, but here's a video on limerence, with lot of good insights: https://youtu.be/9l5ALCPEBkc I particularly enjoyed the sections on being more aware of what role …
Case study: I don’t want to devalue my limerent object
Rachel got in touch recently about a scenario that is very difficult to cope with - not difficult because of any grand drama, or threats to life and limb, but because there is no simple escape from …
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On grief
My father died last week. I'm now immersed in a new world that I was previously unaware of - or rather, a world that always existed alongside me but that I could blissfully ignore. Funeral …