A question that commonly comes up after people discover the concept of limerence is: can I have the good without the bad? I'm having it and eating it, so there The euphoria of early limerence …
What is within your control?
A defining feature of limerence is emotional instability - someone else seems to have control over your mood. When they are happy, you are euphoric; when they are unhappy, you are anxious and …
The need for courage
In the last post I covered how limerence can be the trigger for renewal, and a starting point for transforming life for the better. While this is an optimistic perspective, there is an unfortunate - …
How limerence can lead to renewal
In the last few posts, I've concentrated on the elements of purposeful living. There are two reasons why. First, purposeful living is a good way to protect yourself against the destructive aspects …
Who do you want to be?
Limerence can cause a profound shock to our sense of identity. Limerence is by definition extraordinary - it takes us outside ourselves, transcends our mundane everyday lives, upends our previous …
Cultivating self-awareness
In the last post, I argued for the importance of self-awareness for living a purposeful life. Two of the major barriers to self-awareness are ego-protecting rationalisation, and ego-depleting …
Self awareness and purposeful living
Earlier in the year, I wrote about the elements of purposeful living, with the definite intention of expanding on the themes is a series of in-depth posts. Life got in the way, but now it's time to …
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A video on why affairs happen
Here's an astonishing video from the School of Life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDpy5gERS8k It made me properly angry. There's a kernel of truth to the message that black and white …
Mutual limerence
Mutual limerence is a topic that often pops up in the comments section, and in my email inbox. Some describe it as a unicorn scenario, others describe it as a curse. Many of the people who contact me …
Case study: relentless limerence
Today's case study comes from Rachel, who is happily married, but suffering from unrelenting limerence. The quick summary of her situation is that she had a hunch that a colleague of her husband was …
Coffeehouse: how to resist temptation
I've been away this week on work business, but managed to find some time between meetings to discover a lovely old-fashioned coffeehouse with oak-panelled walls, chrome fixtures and fittings, a …
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How to tell someone you just want to be friends
For compassionate people, it can be upsetting to discover that a friend has become infatuated with you. Everyone likes to be admired, but when you care for someone without having romantic feelings, …
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