Note: this is an updated version of a previous post Midlife is an interesting time. It begins to dawn on you that whatever endeavours you threw yourself into in early adulthood are coming to …
New project: dealing with limerence in marriage
I've been blogging recently about the impact of limerence on long-term relationships, and the devastating effect it can have on a marriage. It's been sobering to read accounts of the effect of …
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Is polyamory a solution for limerence?
Unexpected limerence in a marriage is tough. There are several reasons why married limerents might become vulnerable to the allure of a new limerent object. It's easy to slip into a state of benign …
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Limerence in the Observer
Big week for me this week. I finished the new book and sent it to my publisher! That was easy It's great to have reached that milestone, and by one of those strange coincidences of fate, my …
Coffeehouse: time travel wisdom
Time for another LwL coffeehouse post. For those new to the site, these posts are intended for open discussion about any aspects of limerence and how it affects our lives. And where fabulous …
Can a marriage recover from limerence?
I've written many times about the impact on a marriage of developing limerence for someone new. It's an existential threat under the worst conditions, and a serious hardship even in the best-managed …
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Hazardous limerent objects
In the last post we covered how fruitless it is to try and blame a limerent object for your own unwanted limerence. Even if they are to blame, it doesn't help your recovery. I stick by that principle, …
Who is to blame for limerence?
Note: this is an updated version of a previous post Limerence can be well described as an altered state of mind. Once the infatuation for someone new sets in, it changes your perceptions, your …
Communication after an affair
Super busy with the last push to complete my book at the moment, so in lieu of a blog post, here's a video. It's a productive discussion between two therapists who come to the issue of infidelity from …
Coffeehouse: beating limerence when no contact is impossible
Another visit to the LwL coffeehouse where all of life's big problems are solved. Or people spout off to their online friends. Not sure which. Maybe both Today's topic for conversation comes …
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People who like to live in uncertainty
I've opined on many occasions that uncertainty is the rocket fuel of limerence. I've tended to discuss this from the perspective of flaky LOs who give mixed messages, behave unpredictably, or want to …
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The two tribes
Note: this is an updated version of a previous post In her landmark book, Love and Limerence, Dorothy Tennov describes how she finally formulated the concept of limerence on a long haul flight with …