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Living with Limerence

Life, love, and limerence

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A strategy for mastering limerence condensed into 10 key steps

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Anxiety to Action

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on how to practically respond to devaluation by a limerent partner.

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Glossary of terms

An explanation of terms for the uninitiated:

LE = limerent experience/episode (a period in which a limerent is beset by limerence)

LO = limerent object (the person that limerence is focussed on)

NC = no contact

SO = significant other

FOO = family of origin

EA = emotional affair

PA = physical affair

The glimmer = the first moment of recognition that a person is a potential LO

Recent Posts

The links between limerence and anxious attachment
On the scientific evidence for limerence
Coffeehouse: demoralisation and despair
Person addiction
Is limerence a sign that something is wrong in life?
Limerence entanglements
Why do workplace crushes happen?
Coffeehouse: social media
R.I.P. Helen Fisher
The madness of limerence
Calling all London limerents
Why limerents behave irresponsibly
Coffeehouse: open thread
Dodgy limerent objects
A new limerence research project
Guest post: fictional limerence
Case study: LO wants to be my best friend
Coffeehouse: the influence of environment
Internal versus external drivers of limerence
Emotional versus physical affairs
Podcast on the Longing Lab
A new era for LwL
Coffeehouse: signs you’re not over them
Midlife crisis for limerents
New project: dealing with limerence in marriage
Is polyamory a solution for limerence?
Limerence in the Observer
Coffeehouse: time travel wisdom
Can a marriage recover from limerence?
Hazardous limerent objects
Who is to blame for limerence?
Communication after an affair
Coffeehouse: beating limerence when no contact is impossible
People who like to live in uncertainty
The two tribes
How common is limerence: the numbers
Coffeehouse: limerence bootcamp
Emotional resistance, limerence and purposeful living
Case study: Nothing works…
Limerence and the second sex
Skills for a healthy relationship
Coffeehouse: book update
Case study: polyamory and unwelcome limerence
Signs that your partner doesn’t respect you
Dealing with limerence in marriage
Limerence in the New York Times
Coffeehouse: would you turn off your limerence?
Case study: should I wait for my limerent husband to come to his senses?
More on the limerence binary
Is limerence binary or a spectrum?
Winter coffeehouse
Holiday limerence
Is limerence personal or universal?
Coffeehouse: the comfort of the familiar
How risky are limerent fantasies?
Limerence limbo
How to get over an office crush
Coffeehouse: the search for meaning
On jealousy
Keeping secrets
Case study: I resent my husband’s limerent object
Coffeehouse: the big barriers to limerence recovery
Coping with betrayal
Busy, busy, busy
Coffeehouse: it’s all in the eyes
Friendship after limerence
Incompatible limerent objects
Taking action to improve your life
Coffeehouse: managing competing demands
The overselling of pop neuroscience
How to make decisions
How indecision worsens limerence
What is within your control?
The need for courage
How limerence can lead to renewal
Who do you want to be?
Cultivating self-awareness
Self awareness and purposeful living
A video on why affairs happen
Mutual limerence
Case study: relentless limerence
Coffeehouse: how to resist temptation
How to tell someone you just want to be friends
This crush just won’t be crushed!
Case study: losing faith in love because of limerence
Why does romantic attraction fade?
Finding purpose when languishing
Limerence research survey
A good video on limerence
Case study: I don’t want to devalue my limerent object
On grief
A philosopher’s response to limerence
Coffeehouse: escaping the shadow of first limerence
Why are they leading me on?
A personal note on adversity
What makes a good romantic partner?
Morality, limerence and purposeful living
Case study: why is limerence so painful?
Honesty as a foundation for purposeful living
The elements of purposeful living

Recent Comments

Speedwagon on Coffeehouse: demoralisation and despair
Lim-a-rant on Coffeehouse: demoralisation and despair
Lim-a-rant on On the scientific evidence for limerence
❄️ phoenix on The links between limerence and anxious attachment
Lim-a-rant on On the scientific evidence for limerence
Lim-a-rant on On the scientific evidence for limerence
❄️ Phoenix on The links between limerence and anxious attachment
Snowpheonix on The links between limerence and anxious attachment
Serial Limerent on The links between limerence and anxious attachment
Lim-a-rant on The links between limerence and anxious attachment

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