One of the philosophical pillars of this site is that limerence isn't in itself a problem; it becomes a problem when the circumstances of a particular limerence episode cause a transition into …
LOs who won’t let go
In the last post we analysed closure, and why it's an illusion. Seeking closure is one of the commonest excuses that limerents give for why they need to stay friends with their LOs. Their …
Closure is an illusion
Uncertainty is central to limerence. It fuels the rumination that drives it (do they like me too? What did that comment mean? How would they respond to my disclosure?), and creates the intermittent …
Social media and limerence
There's been a lot of discussion in the comments of late about social media and how it just makes limerence sooo much worse. I've not contributed much to this, for the simple if unorthodox reason that …
Using limerence for mood regulation
It's an unhappy truth that limerence is worst when you're unhappy. Limerence can often start during a time of of trial: when you are exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, lonely, grieving, or depressed. …
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Limerence and insecurity
I spend a goodly amount of time here at LwL trying to understand the factors that make limerence more or less likely to occur. There are some repeating themes - intermittent reward, uncertainty, …