Idealisation is a big part of limerence. It’s also a big part of the ‘object’ bit of limerent object. We elevate these mysterious people who walk among us into paragons - impossible romantic ideals. …
The psychological appeal of giving in
There is something strangely seductive about surrendering your will to a craving. Even when you know it's bad for you, you yield to the compulsion. When the opportunity to indulge presents itself, you …
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Indecisive LOs
I've recently had a little flurry of correspondence from limerents who are cursed with indecisive limerent objects. These are LOs who give some definite reciprocation but then pull away, or who are …
Dealing with conflicting desires
Life is full of conflicting desires. We love cakes, but want to be lean and healthy. We like excitement and we also like security. We crave novelty, and seek the nostalgia of the familiar. We …
Why am I so down on limerence?
A recent flurry of comments raised the issue of whether limerence is a good or bad thing, and why I generally blog from the perspective of "limerence recovery", rather than being more positive and …
Why wasn’t I good enough for them?
Limerent objects are sticky. Yuck! When deciding to go No Contact, most limerents soon discover that detaching themselves from LO is harder than expected. LOs are good at pulling you back. You …