Limerence is an extraordinary desire. The intensity of our longing for LO falls well beyond the usual range of everyday experience, which is probably why we find it so easy to believe that our LOs …
Why do they seem so special?
Idealisation is a big part of limerence. It’s also a big part of the ‘object’ bit of limerent object. We elevate these mysterious people who walk among us into paragons - impossible romantic ideals. …
The psychological appeal of giving in
There is something strangely seductive about surrendering your will to a craving. Even when you know it's bad for you, you yield to the compulsion. When the opportunity to indulge presents itself, you …
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Using limerence for mood regulation
It's an unhappy truth that limerence is worst when you're unhappy. Limerence can often start during a time of of trial: when you are exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, lonely, grieving, or depressed. …
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Wanting versus liking
One of the weird features of limerence is the ongoing desire for contact with LO even after you've realised it's unhealthy and bad for you. Well, actually, it's not all that weird - it's a common …
Barriers and uncertainty
Following on from last week's post, I've been wondering about the circumstances and conditions that can push limerence into a descending spiral of addictive misery. It certainly seems to be true that …