The limerence quiz
Limerence is an altered mental state of intense infatuation that many people experience in the early stages of love.
This questionnaire is designed to test whether you have ever experienced the symptoms of limerence.
There are twenty five questions which cover the positive and negative aspects of limerence, and help build up a picture of your romantic temperament.
Answer all questions on the scale from “strongly agree” to “strongly disagree” if you have ever experienced the described reaction to someone you were infatuated with.
About this quiz
The questions for this quiz were created from the list of symptoms laid out by Dorothy Tennov when she first defined the concept of limerence. That foundation was built upon by feedback from the Living with Limerence community.
More information:
To learn more about limerence and what it means for your romantic life, start here.
If you are currently suffering through the emotional storm of limerence, you can download a quickstart guide on how to Take Control, and free yourself from the pain:
I think this quiz is more suited to answer “Are you currently experiencing limerence?”
I imagine a “limerent” is someone who has experienced limerence in the past too, not only someone currently experiencing it
That’s true, T. You’ll have to cast your mind back if you’re not currently in that altered state of mind.
I try to tell myself I’m not limerent as a identity, more did I get due to complex circumstances in a LE.
It gives me some what more hope for the future.
I will definitely watch out for those circumstances.
Agreed. Limerence is a part of who we are, but it isn’t an identity.
I’m a 50 year old man. Divorced 8 years ago I went a year following my divorce just playing the field and connected with an old classmate after a reunion. We “dated” for nearly 2 years ( I use quotes because her high-school age children hated that she was dating so we kept it secret) I thought I was going to marry this woman she was great!! But she ended things when it became apparent that her daughter would abandon her if she kept seeing me. I was crushed and saw nobody for 8 months but kept in contact with her through text hoping that she would just follow her heart. She finally told me I should get out again and move on. So I did and I quickly became involved with a woman who didn’t have the greatest reputation but she was exciting and different from what I had been with. We did everything together and she moved in. We partied a lot it turned out she was bisexual and she enjoyed sharing her encounters with me and eventually we dabbled in swinging. It was new and exciting I loved all of it. Until she eventually started showing her true colors and she became very toxic and jealous of my children, namely my 16 year old daughter and it got so bad I had to tell her to leave. It’s been a year since the break-up and I’ve been seeing someone new for about 8 months. The new woman is wonderful but I can’t stop thinking about my last relationship and I miss the excitement of everything we did together intimately and publicly. So I’m remembering the good times and not the bad but it has kept me from giving what I need to the current relationship which is wonderful until she creeps back into my mind. I also have to say that I did have a one night fling with her shortly after starting to date the new woman at which point all the bad things flooded back in and I knew I couldn’t return to that. I had a nice new woman to be with but previous woman has infiltrated my ever thought at about the year mark of our break-up. I can’t stop thinking of her and I know she’s toxic. Am I a limerant or am I just going crazy? How do I get out of this? I try to never talk about her with current woman but she does creep into conversation but not enough to make current woman suspicious. Please help.
Having been limerent for many decades and also in a long-term monogamous relationship (with a few interruptions due to limerence) for decades I can spot the signs in myself straightaway – elation, adrenalin, obsession, projection, excuses for communication, emojis 🤣💔. I have been safe for about 14 years but then someone new comes in to my life – unbidden, unsearched for – embodying the universal spirit of eternal love – and i know i could be in trouble again. For past excursions into the limerent quagmire the solution for me has always been NC – tricky at the moment although I could make up an excuse for disappearing but I don’t want to yet. I expect it will end up with NC in the near future. I was part of an online limerent community back in 2007/08/09 and found it extremely helpful to spend time with people who know exactly what is going on without judgment or exasperation but real concern and stuck in the moment or helping those stuck in the moment. Glad to see you are around Dr L – I heard your podcast. Wonderful summary of our emotional realities.
What limerent community group are you in because I need someone too talk to about this stuff. I’m 17 and just experiencing my first limerence, it is so hard because I had a relationship before and now I broke up with her because I am in Limerence with someone else. I hate this feeling and I wanna know how to stop being in limerence with another girl because I really want to be with my ex again and love her.
Welcome Simfora, you can talk to us.
I’m impressed you can see through the feelings that this is not what you want. Bravo. A lot of people will go 100%for the new person.
Is it possible to go no contact with your LO . I mean do you have to see her ?
There is also a more private community group you can sign up for if you want.
Welcome, Simfora. There’s a link to join the private community form at the top of the page (Community pages) or click here.
The wanting LO more than anything… Almost. But being passionate about geology, rocks always come first. But then sometimes when you can’t think straight about some rocks because limerence!
Goddammit.
Fortunately not been that bad for some time though.
I scored a 100 % !!
🙁 Thats a questionable honour!
I also think that people in love also will score high, my view is we limerents have every (normal) aspect of being in love but much more intense. And therefor more highs and very bad lows.
We have a Winner!
Claim your prize!
https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/steel-canoe-planter-featuring-orange-flowers-1144315910
Omg ! Hahaha thats too funny Eme!
Yeah I already claimed my prize, three years of hell that was.
Just checked the scores, Mia, and 7 people (out of 235 total in the first week) have scored 100% so far! So, you’re in good company 🙂
Lowest score to date is 19%, which is great because it suggests the quiz actually does succeed in identifying “non-limerence” too.
98%. Joy.
Not only your name is Groot, so is your score! 🙂
53%
I was trying to answer it as I remember my last LE so it was probably higher then. It’s probably actually lower now that I’m 6 years out of my last LE.
“Out of my last LE”…. sounds great, not there yet but getting there .
Slowly but steady.
Well steady-ish
Now that the L is getting less intense I have to fight myself since the idea of being jolly just good old friends seems more ” realistic” ( it’s not, I know).
Damn I’m 86% after over 1 month no contact and I already disclosed.
I’m a 50 year old man. Divorced 8 years ago I went a year following my divorce just playing the field and connected with an old classmate after a reunion. We “dated” for nearly 2 years ( I use quotes because her high-school age children hated that she was dating so we kept it secret) I thought I was going to marry this woman she was great!! But she ended things when it became apparent that her daughter would abandon her if she kept seeing me. I was crushed and saw nobody for 8 months but kept in contact with her through text hoping that she would just follow her heart. She finally told me I should get out again and move on. So I did and I quickly became involved with a woman who didn’t have the greatest reputation but she was exciting and different from what I had been with. We did everything together and she moved in. We partied a lot it turned out she was bisexual and she enjoyed sharing her encounters with me and eventually we dabbled in swinging. It was new and exciting I loved all of it. Until she eventually started showing her true colors and she became very toxic and jealous of my children, namely my 16 year old daughter and it got so bad I had to tell her to leave. It’s been a year since the break-up and I’ve been seeing someone new for about 8 months. The new woman is wonderful but I can’t stop thinking about my last relationship and I miss the excitement of everything we did together intimately and publicly. So I’m remembering the good times and not the bad but it has kept me from giving what I need to the current relationship which is wonderful until she creeps back into my mind. I also have to say that I did have a one night fling with her shortly after starting to date the new woman at which point all the bad things flooded back in and I knew I couldn’t return to that. I had a nice new woman to be with but previous woman has infiltrated my ever thought at about the year mark of our break-up. I can’t stop thinking of her and I know she’s toxic. Am I a limerant or am I just going crazy? How do I get out of this? I try to never talk about her with current woman but she does creep into conversation but not enough to make current woman suspicious. Please help.
I don’t know if you are limerent. It sounds like you are hooked on the hormone surges that sprang from an exciting lifestyle; your obsession is probably more about the feelings than the actual person. This website has several articles about how to get over someone. I hope you’ll read through the blog archives. The articles and comments were very helpful to get me through a limerent episode.
It sounds like you had some exciting experiences and it would be difficult to go back to a “normal” relationship that doesn’t deliver those highs. The lifestyle you described sounds exhausting to me, but I can see how it appeals to others. Perhaps a high-adrenaline hobby like skydiving would help. You might also consider focusing on the bad parts of your relationship with your ex girlfriend if she enters your mind. Us limerents tend to overlook red flags, but we should focus on them. Purposeful living is very helpful, too. A new LO is what worked best for me. Of course there is danger with a new LO, I’m keeping this one at arm’s length and I try really hard not to fantasize about him. The two things that set off my limerence are disclosing to an LO who reciprocates disclosure and indulging in reverie. Since you are single those two things could help you develop a promising relationship. Whereas, I am a happily married woman who has no business admitting romantic feelings to another man.
I wish you luck. It’s none of my business, but I’m cheering for the current, more healthful relationship.