Note: this is an updated version of an older post. One of the most disruptive mental traps linked to limerence is the state of indefinite tension best described as limerence limbo. We are …
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Case study: losing faith in love because of limerence
Today's case study is from Louis, who got in touch because he's been burned by limerence and now fears it has soured his whole attitude to love and romance. As background, Louis is in his 20s, but …
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Catalogue shopping for online love
One of the biggest changes in the world of romance that has happened over the course of my life is the rise of online dating. My youth wasn't just pre-Tinder, it was pre-internet. That makes it …
Case study: limerent for a mentor
It's been a while since we considered a case study, and this one is a little mysterious. Lotus got in touch with me about her situation, but using an apparently fake or dead email address. That has …
Purposeful living for single limerents
I focus a lot on the perspective of married limerents, for an obvious reason (I'm married). However, that perspective tends to be backwards looking. What I mean by that is that limerence has …
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Gaslighting
The philosophy here at living with limerence is founded on personal growth being the answer to most problems. Whatever the circumstances that have led you to limerence, the best response is to be …
How long will my limerence last?
The average duration of a limerent episode is between 18 months and 3 years. That estimate comes from Tennov's book, and was based on interviews with hundreds of people struggling with …
Case study: I miss the high
A case study about the long term implications of living with limerence, today. J contacted me with a couple of questions, and an observation about life two years after her last limerence episode …
The need for change
Limerence offers some serious life lessons. It a good idea to learn from them. When limerence arrives unexpectedly - when you weren't actively seeking romance - it can be a bit of a shock. …
Dating red flags for limerents
I write a lot about marriage and limerence (because I'm a married limerent), but I sometimes hear from friends, family and the media all about the perils of modern dating. So, for those readers still …
Case study: a pushy LO
It's been a while since we got specific about a personal limerence dilemma, so this week I thought it would be good to tackle another case study. Elle got in touch with me (via a temporary gmail …
People pleasing limerents
A common barrier to going no contact is anxiety about how other people will feel about your change in behaviour. Especially for people pleasers. Is it rude to cut contact with someone you used to …