Reader jaideux suggested a post on narcissistic LOs. It's an important topic, and a real danger for limerents. Anyone who feeds the limerence cycle is a threat, but narcissists can combine the worst …
Search Results for: narcissist
Gaslighting
The philosophy here at living with limerence is founded on personal growth being the answer to most problems. Whatever the circumstances that have led you to limerence, the best response is to be …
How long will my limerence last?
The average duration of a limerent episode is between 18 months and 3 years. That estimate comes from Tennov's book, and was based on interviews with hundreds of people struggling with …
Case study: I miss the high
A case study about the long term implications of living with limerence, today. J contacted me with a couple of questions, and an observation about life two years after her last limerence episode …
Limerence limbo
Happy New Year, folks. I always look on the start of a new year as a time for renewal, and that seems especially true this year, given the horror show that was 2020. We're not out of trouble …
The need for change
Limerence offers some serious life lessons. It a good idea to learn from them. When limerence arrives unexpectedly - when you weren't actively seeking romance - it can be a bit of a shock. …
On not knowing what you want
Limerence upends life. Whatever your situation when a new LO appears in your world, everything changes. The disruption is probably most severe if the limerent is already in a long-term …
Good LOs
Some limerents have to battle with limerent objects that are bad for them. Maybe their LO is narcissistic, maybe they are flaky, or maybe they are unavailable but nevertheless keep playing with the …
On forgiveness
One of the topics that comes up frequently in discussions about limerence recovery, is the issue of guilt. Sometimes arguments about guilt focus on assigning blame, or what constitutes a moral …
When things go sour
I've always taken the view that limerence is both a good and bad thing. If you are mutually limerent for someone who is free to reciprocate, then life is blissful. But that doesn't happen very …
Dating red flags for limerents
I write a lot about marriage and limerence (because I'm a married limerent), but I sometimes hear from friends, family and the media all about the perils of modern dating. So, for those readers still …
Why do they seem so special?
Idealisation is a big part of limerence. It’s also a big part of the ‘object’ bit of limerent object. We elevate these mysterious people who walk among us into paragons - impossible romantic ideals. …