Reader jaideux suggested a post on narcissistic LOs. It's an important topic, and a real danger for limerents. Anyone who feeds the limerence cycle is a threat, but narcissists can combine the worst …
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Key articles
Living with limerence now has hundreds of posts on all aspects of life as a limerent. The complete archive of all blog posts is available here, but for those in a hurry, here are the key articles that …
Why do I become obsessed with certain people?
One of the most psychologically interesting (and disconcerting) features of romantic life is the mismatch between what we think we want and what we actually desire. Few things illustrate this more …
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Coffeehouse: dark empaths
Another check in at the LwL coffeehouse. It's fun to sometimes speculate about the kinds of people who make for dodgy limerent objects. It's also useful to adopt a more mocking or cynical view …
Why does someone have a crush on me?
Every now and again I receive an email from someone who has become an object of infatuation for someone they didn't mean to attract. Having come across the concept of limerence they realise that they …
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What causes limerence?
Limerence can be neatly described as an altered mental state of intense infatuation. An obvious question raised by this definition is: why does it happen? What causes it? While it's a natural …
Coffeehouse: how to deal with difficulties
Following on from last week's musings, this week I've decided to inaugurate a new feature for the blog: the everlasting thread. The goal for this is to be a specific place for open discussions - a …
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Case study: obsessed with my LO’s LO
Limerence is all about obsession, but sometimes the thought loops that ensnare us are surprising. Today's case study is from Violet, who was making progress in recovery before hitting a new …
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Case study: when should I commit?
One of the consequences of being burned by limerence is that it can make you a bit cautious about romance. The discovery of limerence, and the wisdom gained by recognising that your psychological …
What causes obsession with another person?
Obsession comes in different forms. Sometimes we can become fixated on a fear, or a memory, or a vice, which captures our attention so completely that our thoughts become a prison. Other times, we …
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Catalogue shopping for online love
One of the biggest changes in the world of romance that has happened over the course of my life is the rise of online dating. My youth wasn't just pre-Tinder, it was pre-internet. That makes it …
Courage and limerence
Regular commenter Marcia raised an interesting question in the comments section from the last post, about being hesitant to try new *ahem* adventures. I always wondered if it was my fear talking. …