Understanding limerence is a pre-requisite for overcoming it.
In the process of writing my book, I revisited a lot of the key ideas that I’ve been blogging about these last three years, and played a game that I find peculiarly satisfying: Organising Things.
Regular readers may have spotted that I like lists. When it comes to limerence recovery, I’ve managed to refine the key concepts down to four major factors that need to be understood. These could be called the pillars of recovery.
1) Our brains. We’re wired for limerence, because the hardware of our brains has evolved over millennia to respond to reward and arousal in predictable ways.
2) Our history. What we personally go through in life programs our brains to be responsive to specific people and specific stimuli.
3) Our behaviour. When we just follow our instincts and do what feels natural, we tend to reinforce limerence.
4) Our limerent object. We can be lucky or unlucky for who we become limerent for. Some LOs make it waaaayyyy harder to deal with.
Having settled on this organisational scheme, I started sketching out a series of posts to expand on each idea. However, by coincidence, while planning it all out, I happened to receive a few emails (and noticed a few comments in the threads) from newbies asking for help navigating the growing site. I realised that instead of a blog series, I could indulge in a second-level meta-organisational game!
I’ve organised the ideas into a new email course called Fast Track to Freedom.
It’s free, anyone can sign up, and it works through the essential recovery philosophy that I advocate here at LwL. It’s a week long course, with a daily email that presents a new idea to ruminate on (as a substitute for ruminating about LO).
You can sign up here.
I’ll be putting prominent links on the homepage and sidebar too, and directing those who are looking for urgent help straight to the course, as a quick and efficient way of getting up to speed on the main LwL ideas. Then they can peruse the library of rambling thoughts and fruity opinions in the blog back catalogue at leisure.